Culture & Lifestyle
FICTION: ‘Let go,’ she said. ‘I won’t,’ he replied
In a crowded café, two former lovers wrestle with apology, resentment and the impossible pull of each other.Sameen Shakya
The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen just walked into the café, and all I can think about is work.
The worst thing about deadlines is actually having to meet them. Mine was mere days away. I found that I couldn’t work well at home. Strange, because my job is work-from-home. Too many distractions, I suppose. Video games, movies, books, staring out the balcony, etc. So, I made my way to the nearest café, ordered a coffee, and got to work. What I hadn’t realised was that the internet still existed, and I ended up scrolling through social media for the better part of an hour.
That’s when she walked in.
I had just gathered enough pretence to begin to convince myself to start working when she, the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, walked in and sat at a table away from me. Her luscious brown hair framed a beautifully fair, oval face. She was wearing a white top, liberally body-hugging but conservatively covered and light blue jeans. I tried not to stare, but my eyes kept darting towards her. I watched as she pored over the menu, grabbing the edges with her dainty fingers. She was biting her lips, and that too so softly. I saw it! I saw her teeth lightly pressing into her lips. Not enough to hurt, but definitely enough to feel it.
What is wrong with me? I was mesmerised. Should I talk to her? Should I walk up and go introduce myself?
A man walked in, rammed past my thoughts and sat next to her. Her demeanour immediately changed. She crossed her hands, leaned back and just stared at him. He, on the other hand, kept his eyes low, reached across and slid the menu towards him.
A dull silence hung in the air.
He asked if she had ordered. No. Did she know what she wanted? No. Was she going to say anything aside from no? Yes. What? No.
Another silence followed. This one louder.
He finally lifted his head up and stared at her. Their stare grew more and more intense until she conceded and looked away.
“I’ll get an Americano. Double shot.”
“It’s past two,” he told her. “If you have an Americano now, you won’t be able to sleep.”
“That’s my business,” she turned to look at him again. “Or are you scared of talking to me more than you have to?” Her chest heaved up and down. She seemed anxious. He caught that and said so. To which she replied that how she felt was her business.
The man inhaled deeply, his hands balling into a fist. The girl noticed. “Are you going to hit me? Here? In front of all these people? Again?”
His eyes grew wide, and his hands softened. “Listen, that was a mistake.” He leaned in closer. She leaned away.
“Call it what you will, but it happened. In fact, I don’t even know why I’m here. I don’t even know why you wanted to meet. Why did I even come?”
She got up to leave, but the waiter had already arrived at their table. She asked them for their order. The man smiled as he ordered a Double Shot Americano for the girl and an Iced Macchiato for himself. The waiter wrote down the order and left. The man dropped the smile.
After a tense minute, the girl whispered a thank you. Followed by a you didn’t have to. The man retorted with a “If that’s what you want, then that’s what you’ll get.” The girl didn’t know how to respond to that.
Both their hands on the table, both their eyes hanging low, the two seemed like one organism split in two, desperately trying to glue back together but unable to. The magnetic force that drew them closer was hindered by the table between them. But it was there. The force was there, and it exuded out of their bodies with such force that finally, their hands met. At first with a light touch, immediately followed by a passionate grasp.
The man was the first one to turn his face up and look at her. “Listen, baby, I am sorry. It was an accident. I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I never will again. You-” his voice stuttered, “You know how angry I can get.”
“That doesn’t mean you can hurt me,” she replied, a deep sigh escaping her throat alongside those words. She tried to pull her hand away, but he held onto it tightly. Not letting go.
“Let go,” she said.
“I won’t,” he replied. The passionate grasp of their hands soon turned into a tug of war. She is pulling away, and he is pulling her closer. Finally, she gave up.
“This is what always happens. I always fall for losers. But, you know what? This was a learning experience. You’ve finally made me aware of what I’m doing wrong, and I will do better now.”
Hearing this, the man let go. “What do you mean by that?”
“I know myself now. I know what I’ve been doing wrong.”
“So what? Am I just some lesson? On top of being a loser, I’m just a lesson?”
The man slammed his hands on the table. Everyone, from the cashier, the waiters and the other customers turned towards him. The woman, her face red with half-anger and half-embarrassment, told him to calm himself. “Don’t make a scene in public.”
“You can’t say that,” he whispered, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You can’t say all that. Rile me up. And told me to calm down and not make a scene in public. Who do you think you are?”
“I’ll tell you who I’m not. I’m not your girlfriend anymore.”
The girl grabbed her Americano and downed it in one gulp. The man watched in surprise as her sour face, once it had calmed down, simply said, “I never want to see you again.” Then, she got up and left.
I watched as her perfect figure walked out the door. Hips swaying. Hair bouncing in the wind. When I finally looked back at the table, at the man, he had his head down and his arms around it. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but by the movement of his body, it was clear he was sobbing. His untouched Macchiato was next to him.
I then turned away and saw the waiter staring at him, staring at me, and them walking away. I, too, decided to pack up my laptop, pay, and leave. Which I promptly did.
I stepped outside and saw, to my surprise, that the girl was still there. Smoking a cigarette. I didn’t know what to say. If I should say anything. Or just leave. She saw me staring at her and smiled, walking towards me.
Before I could say anything, though, she told me how she had noticed me staring at them. “Is he still inside?” she asked. I told her yes. She took a long drag of her cigarette, tossed it on the ground, and let out the smoke alongside a deep sigh.
“See ya,” she said, and walked back in.
I hugged my laptop tight and ran back home.




19.12°C Kathmandu















