In an age of constant notifications, fleeting conversations, and shrinking attention spans, relationships, too, have begun to mirror the pace of the digital world. Friendships that once relied on time, patience and shared presence now compete with algorithms, busy schedules and the quiet expectation of instant understanding.

As young people move through early adulthood, many find themselves drifting away from friends not through conflict, but through neglect, exhaustion or emotional distance. Today, the slow fading of friendships has become common, often leaving behind feelings of loneliness, guilt and unanswered questions that rarely find space in public conversations about mental health.

Counselling psychologist at Happy Minds, Arpita Subba, offers insights into how ending or drifting away from friendships in early adulthood can affect young people’s emotional well-being.

Why does the loss or distancing of friendships in early adulthood feel painful for young people?

Early adulthood is a period of exploration and self-discovery, during which individuals begin to step beyond the boundaries of family and parental control. During this time—whether in school, college, or new social environments—young people often form friendships with peers who are experiencing similar struggles and transitions. These friendships become a key source of emotional safety, validation and understanding.

When such bonds suddenly fade or end, it can feel unsettling. Young people may begin to question their self-worth, wondering whether they did something wrong or whether they were ‘not enough’. The loss also brings the fear of having no one left to confide in, which can lead to feelings of panic, lowered self-esteem and emotional insecurity. Young people often begin to question themselves emotionally.

Without someone to share experiences with, seek advice from, or celebrate achievements alongside, they can feel lonely and emotionally insecure. Even decisions that once felt straightforward may now be second-guessed, as the reassurance and support previously offered by close friends are no longer present.

Many people experience guilt, confusion, or self-doubt after a friendship ends. How can such emotions affect one’s mental health if left unaddressed?

Past experiences with friendships can strongly influence how young adults respond to new relationships. When a friendship ends, individuals may begin to doubt themselves and question the effort they have invested in their relationships. This can lead to hesitation in forming new bonds, as they may fear repeating past disappointments. Such experiences can also contribute to trust issues, making it difficult to share openly or feel safe with others.

If these emotions remain unaddressed, they can create a persistent cycle of self-doubt, confusion and guilt, leading to prolonged stress and negatively affecting overall mental health.

Are there common signs that a friendship breakup is taking a toll on someone’s emotional or psychological well-being?

Friendship breakups can have a profound impact on young people, yet they are often overlooked compared to family loss. Emotional and psychological signs may include self-doubt, confusion, negative self-talk, and the belief that one was ‘not enough’ to maintain the friendship. Individuals may struggle with decision-making, overthink situations, feel lonely, or experience insecurity about forming or sustaining other relationships.

Social withdrawal is also common—they may avoid existing friends, isolate themselves, or hesitate to build new connections. Communication patterns may change, with a greater need for reassurance and difficulty trusting oneself. Prolonged self-stress can manifest physically as sleep disturbances, low energy, changes in appetite, headaches, body aches, or a weakened immune system.

Over time, these effects can impact self-confidence, social identity, and the ability to set healthy boundaries, sometimes leading to over-pleasing behaviours in relationships.

What healthy ways can young adults process the grief or loneliness that may follow the end of a close friendship?

It is natural to want to rush through the pain of a friendship ending, but processing it requires patience and self-compassion. Young adults can benefit from accepting the situation, reflecting on what they have learned, and speaking kindly to themselves. Engaging in creative activities, journaling, or revisiting hobbies can also provide constructive ways to cope.

It is important not to overpressure oneself to ‘move on’ too quickly. Instead, individuals should allow themselves time to experience their emotions and use the process as an opportunity for self-discovery. If the feelings become overwhelming, seeking support from a trusted person or speaking with a professional can help—expressing emotions rather than suppressing them is key to healthy recovery.

How can individuals rebuild a sense of connection and self-worth after losing a meaningful friendship?

Friendships often form a key part of our sense of identity, so when a close bond ends, it can feel as though a part of ourselves has gone too. Rebuilding self-worth involves reconnecting with oneself and with existing relationships. Young adults can focus on activities they enjoy, such as hobbies, journaling, or volunteering, and reflect on their values and interests beyond the loss of the friendship.

It is helpful to ask questions like, “Who am I beyond this friendship?” and to allow oneself to rediscover meaning and purpose without rushing to recreate the exact type of connection lost. Re-engaging with existing friendships, maintaining open but healthy boundaries, and learning from past experiences can foster a renewed sense of belonging.