In May 2025, I joined a 10-day adult Vipassana course at the Kotdada Meditation Centre, located in the hills of Godawari. Under Noble Silence, I practised observing my breath and bodily sensations as guided by Shri Satya Narayan Goenka.

When I sat in silence, my inner chatter grew louder. Every few minutes, my mind was distracted by the thought of an incident that happened five years ago—how painful it was, who hurt me, how ungrateful someone was, and how generous I am now because of it.

Vipassana Meditation is often described as a journey of focusing on the breath and bodily sensations, but for me, it felt more like an archaeological dig into my own soul. In fact, it was a dig into myself that I was missing out.

Little did I understand about mind purification until I asked a fellow Sadhika (female student) why she had joined the course at the end of Noble Silence on the 10th day. She gracefully replied, “It’s for mind purification”. At the time, I wondered how simply watching a breath or a sensation could purify something as complex as the human mind. The answer remained mysterious until I stepped off the student cushion and into the role of a Dhamma Server.

Six months later, when I joined Shivapuri Meditation Centre, it wasn’t as a meditator, but as a volunteer. My goal this time was simple: to serve. Mind purification wasn’t on my radar; I was there to work. Working with other volunteers who shared my goal made the work seamless. Nothing in the world would have given such a fulfilling feeling as serving the Sadhikas. Also, there were times when the ego tried to take credit for helping others.

Unfortunately, I had to leave the service on the 11th morning due to personal commitments, just before the final Metta (loving-kindness) session. In the past, I might have grieved this early parting or felt a sense of incompleteness. But this time, I made peace with it instantly. I kept witnessing the momentum of the Dhamma within me.

As I stepped out of the centre, I realised something profound: the joy I felt was unshakeable. Without even trying, I had been purifying my mind through service all along. I had learned the most vital lesson of all—that life is a series of ups and downs, a constant rhythm of arrival and departure. Real transformation comes from turning inward with intensity: observing physical pain, allowing the mind to undergo its quiet surgery on the cushion, and gradually emerging as a more emotionally resilient person.

This practice, first rediscovered centuries ago by the Buddha, has guided countless seekers over time, and now I was experiencing its lessons firsthand, not only through meditation but also through service. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be the ‘invisible hand’ behind a retreat, here is what volunteering taught me:

Starting with good intentions

We start the day by praying for the success and inner transformation of all students. This simple act of wishing others well and prioritising them shifted my entire mindset. It’s a reminder that even small intentions can transform how we approach the day.

Teamwork in sacred silence

From 4 am to 10 pm, I worked with a team of strangers who quickly became family. Such strong teamwork was only possible because of our shared goals. Each day, our bond deepened, lovingly guided and nurtured by our Gurumas (female teachers), who held us together with wisdom and grace. As Shree Goenka Guru keeps repeating “Pragya Jagti Rahe” (May wisdom arise), we were becoming wise with every passing day.

Joy in the details

Inviting Sadhikas to meditate, checking them, serving them meals, gently reminding them to maintain noble silence, these small acts became cherished memories. The funny moments and shared laughter with fellow volunteers are now stories we’ll retell for years. Happiness often lies in paying attention to the smallest details of daily life.

Feeling at home

By Day 5, the centre already felt like home. When every hour is spent working towards a shared purpose alongside others, time quietly loses its edges. Days slipped by like minutes because we were fully absorbed in the flow. It reminded me that when you give yourself wholeheartedly to something, any place can begin to feel like home.

Finding balance in the intensity

The schedule was intense, but it was a beautiful fatigue. The exhaustion of service was constantly softened by our own meditation hours. I found that I meditated better because I was serving. My mind was more alert and my heart more open. Even in the busiest days, it’s possible to find inner calm if we balance action with reflection.

You’re the backbone of the retreat

There’s a quiet pride in knowing that the success of a 10-day Vipassana course is supported by volunteers. Providing the environment where 100 people can find peace is a feeling of fulfilment that no salary can buy.

Becoming a ‘guardian angel’

The students often look at servers as guardian angels, the quiet figures who ensure their tea is hot and their environment is peaceful. Treasuring that feeling of being a protector of someone else’s peace is a gift I will carry for a lifetime.

While mind purification is a term preferred by instructors and practitioners, it simply refers to mental clarity and mastery over one’s thoughts. Through Vipassana, I realised how much our mental well-being is shaped by the attention we give to our thoughts and emotions. Vipassana isn’t about escaping the world; it’s about understanding it. It teaches you to observe your inner world without judgment. Service, on the other hand, teaches you to act without attachment. Vipassana gave me the tools to see my mental well-being, but service gave me the heart to love the world despite its ups and downs.

In today’s fast-paced world, where high work demands, technological acceleration, and societal pressures often create imbalance in our mental well-being, practices like Vipassana can make a difference. It fosters clarity, emotional resilience, and the ability to observe difficult feelings without being overwhelmed. It can reduce stress, cultivate patience, and strengthen our capacity to respond rather than react. For me, it is a way to grow as a healer of my own mind, even as I navigate the demands of daily life.

Nepali, a public health professional, is a practitioner of Vipassana meditation and Yoga.