The following section discusses sensitive topics, including suicide. Please feel free to skip or proceed with caution if this content is distressing.

Suicide is a tragic and complex issue that, sadly, surfaces in everyday life more frequently than we might expect. Whether it’s the news of a public figure’s death making headlines or the heartbreaking loss of someone within our circle of friends and family, suicide impacts us all in some form or way. When we look more closely, suicide is more pervasive in our society and media than we may realise. Yet, despite its prevalence, we have asked ourselves: what can drive a person to resort to such a decision?

As a practising therapist, it is common for clients to discuss their struggles with suicidal thoughts. Surprisingly, when I’ve brought up this topic in conversations with friends, many have shared similar experiences. A friend once admitted that she briefly struggled with suicidal ideation after failing her high school exams. Likewise, another acquaintance confessed that a heartbreaking breakup nearly led them to attempt. This revealed that these thoughts are far more widespread than we acknowledge them to be. The more likely scenario is that most of us have faced them at one time or another, even if only fleetingly.

Suicidal thoughts often stem from an overwhelming sense of hopelessness, where the individual feels that ending their life is the only escape from pain. For those who attempt or unfortunately commit suicide, these thoughts typically aren’t sudden. They’ve likely been battling them for an extended period, even if they haven’t voiced their feelings to others.

To better understand how to help them, it’s essential to recognise the different stages of suicidal ideation. In my training, I learned that there are three distinct levels, each increasing in severity. The first level involves passive thoughts about death. This stage is often associated with depressive symptoms, where the individual may feel worthless or imagine what it would be like if they were no longer alive. There is no specific plan or intent at this point—rather, the person is preoccupied with the idea of death as a form of escape.

The second level involves more active suicidal thoughts. Here, the individual expresses a desire to end their life and believes that death may be their only solution, but they haven’t formulated a concrete plan. These thoughts can be alarming, but it’s important to note that, at this stage, the individual still lacks a defined strategy to act on their intentions.

The most severe level occurs when the person not only wants to die but also has a clear, actionable plan to do so. Individuals at this stage might start preparing for their death by writing suicide notes, giving away their belongings, or making arrangements for after their passing. Often, they display a calm acceptance of their decision, having resolved to carry out their plan.

Given the potential for suicidal ideation to escalate quickly, early intervention is critical, especially during the first stage. The sooner we recognise these thoughts and begin a conversation, the better the chances are of preventing them from intensifying. But how can we effectively intervene, particularly in the early stages?

The solution lies in open, honest communication. Though it may sound simple, talking about one’s emotional struggles can be an incredibly powerful act. Unfortunately, fear, shame, and embarrassment often prevent individuals from seeking help. This is why creating an environment where people feel safe to express their vulnerabilities is so important.

It’s essential to remember that experiencing suicidal thoughts does not make someone weak or abnormal. We all go through challenging times, and having these thoughts is more common than we might think. What’s crucial is that we don’t let shame or fear hold us back from seeking support.

If the first person we turn to doesn’t offer the support we need, it’s important not to give up. Others will listen, understand, and help. Building a network of supportive individuals, whether through friends, family, or professional services, is vital in managing these emotions. Moreover, therapy is a highly effective tool in helping individuals cope with suicidal thoughts.

Through therapy, people can learn to manage their emotions, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and explore the underlying causes of their feelings. The therapeutic journey can be transformative, helping individuals build resilience and find new perspectives on their struggles. And when someone does reach out to us for support, we need to be more open to listening and trying to understand what they might be going through. A simple act of listening can do a lot.

While suicidal thoughts are more common than many of us realise, early intervention and open communication are key to preventing them from escalating. Whether through supportive relationships or professional therapy, individuals can learn to manage these thoughts and navigate their emotional challenges more effectively.

By addressing suicidal ideation without shame and fostering a safe space for these conversations, we create a path toward healing and a more hopeful future. It’s crucial that we, as a society, encourage individuals to seek help, offer support, and remind each other that no one has to face their darkest moments alone.

If you or someone you know needs help, please contact the following helplines.

National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1166

TUTH Suicide Hotline: 16600121600

Mental Health Helpline Nepal: 1660-0133666

Nepal Emergency Hotline: 100 or 112

Patan Hospital Suicide Hotline: 9813476123

Gurung is a Counseling Psychologist. He works in Happy Minds, a mental health and well-being platform.