The countdown is on. This year draws to a close and we are set to end the year 2023, officially. The new year is often seen as a time for drastic changes and grand resolutions. While it might be a good opportunity for fresh starts, it’s important to remember that progress, including ones concerning our mental health, shouldn’t be about harsh self-criticism or unrealistic expectations.

For many, the approach of the new year sparks a familiar ritual: reflection. Some may choose to look at the positive side of the picture and celebrate/acknowledge their achievements, while others look into memories of missed opportunities and unfulfilled promises. It has somehow been an unspoken rule that everyone has to give in to the idea of creating pressure for themselves to transform, to become “new” versions of themselves. But the thing is, “Why expect overnight transformations just because a clock strikes twelve?”

It’s time to question the idea of self-improvement that dictates us every December. Is this self-pressure truly fair to us or even practical in the long run? Pause and think about it.

We are so fascinated by the idea of fresh starts that we are ready to discard our well-established routines—even if they serve us well. It may make sense for some people who are ready to make big changes. The new year feels like a perfect starting point. But for others who are happy with their lives the way they are, why do they have to feel pressure to change just because everyone else is doing it?

Before we know it, the pressure to make resolutions can get to us and overwhelm us, leading us to form goals together that don’t really sync with our real selves. When we set unrealistic expectations, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. If we don’t hit those goals, it’s easy for us to beat ourselves up and we can even start sabotaging our own progress. And soon, we’re more focused on the things we didn’t do than the things we did, which can take a toll on our mental health.

So, in the new year, let us take a break from all the stress. If our current routine brings us joy, why trade it for the promising idea of a “new and improved” us? Let us remember that embracing the comfort of familiarity is completely okay. To treasure our past habits and allow them to serve as our pillars of life. Instead of surrendering to unspoken pressure, let’s turn inward. We can listen to our true selves, understand what we truly desire, and then set goals that resonate with our authentic selves.

The idea of setting goals that are in line with our true selves means we have to be aware of our limits. If we say, “I’m going to accomplish all 4 tasks on my resolution list and only accomplish a few, we push the remaining goals forward to the following year, and as this goes on, we’ll end up with an enormous list. Slowly, we start losing confidence in ourselves and our words. How we communicate with ourselves and how we follow through on our words matters a lot. When we make a commitment and then fail to do it, it impacts our mental well-being profoundly. So, we should give ourselves time to commit by being aware of how we want our goals to be and whether this is what we want to achieve or not. When our goals are simple and limited to a few tasks, and when we achieve them we automatically gain confidence in ourselves.

In the era of social media, when we see people around us posting their best moments of the year, it’s easy for us to fall into the comparison trap. It’s easy to get distracted from our achievements. However, we should remember that social media is not the real world. People put up their accomplishments and carefully crafted versions of themselves on social media. Comparing our behind-the-scenes to their highlighted moments can leave us feeling inadequate.

Instead, what we can focus on in this new start can be about being kind to ourselves. We can celebrate the beauty of our journey, embrace the lessons learned, and acknowledge the comfort in our current lifestyle. And, if change has to occur, then we can make this change a deliberate one, not an obstacle created under the pressure of a new day. After all, genuine growth occurs at its own pace and is not guided by fickle resolutions written in the hurry of starting a new chapter. Now, the decision is ours to make. Do we want a fresh start created under pressure that might fade away before February arrives, or do we call for a more conscious approach where change unfolds at its own pace? Let’s hope that 2024 is the year where we actually figure it out.

Happy New Year!