Khusi Gurung (name changed), a 21-year-old from Kaski, moved to Japan a few months ago for higher studies. She was raised primarily by her maternal family from the age of two after her parents divorced.

She grew up surrounded by her maternal grandmother, uncles, aunts, and extended relatives. At the time of her parents’ separation, she was too young to understand what was happening or why her family structure had changed.

“I was two years old when my parents separated. I don’t really remember anything from that period,” she said. “As I grew older, I gradually understood that they were living separately and not together as a family.”

After the divorce, both parents remarried. Her mother later moved abroad with her new family and settled overseas, which further reduced direct contact. Her father remained in Pokhara, and Khusi met him occasionally, though not regularly.

She completed her Secondary Education Examination (SEE) and enrolled in secondary education. During her Grade 11, she balanced education in the mornings and occasional visits to friends or relatives in the afternoons.

It was during this phase, she said, that the emotional weight of her family situation became more visible and harder to ignore.

“When I saw my friends being cared for by both parents, going out together, or celebrating birthdays as a complete family, I used to think how different my life would have been if my parents were still together,” she said. “Sometimes I could not sleep at night thinking about it. Even small comments from others would make me feel like I was missing something fundamental.”

Although she had grown up without direct memory of the separation, adolescence brought a clearer emotional awareness of what she had lost in terms of family stability.

“Until school level, I did not think much about it. But during Grade 11 and 12, I suddenly started thinking a lot about my parents being together as a family unit,” she said. “Now, when I look back, I realise I was going through a very difficult emotional phase without fully understanding it.”

Khusi added that much of her emotional distress was triggered by comparison with peers.

“My friends would talk about their parents buying them things, taking them places, or attending events together. That made me feel like I was missing out on something normal that everyone else had,” she said. “It created a sense of loneliness, even if I was surrounded by people who cared about me.”

She said those feelings got more intense during adolescence but have since eased.

“Now I am busy with college and work, so I do not feel that level of emotional difficulty anymore,” she said. “I have learned to manage it better over time.”

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A teenage boy living in Kathmandu with his mother is also dealing with long-term emotional and financial stress following his parents’ divorce.

He said he was very young when his father went abroad after taking loans, but later gradually stopped maintaining contact and providing financial support. Eventually, the couple got divorced several years ago.

“When my parents divorced, there was an agreement that my father would pay my school fees while I lived with my mother,” he said.

However, he said the arrangement was not consistently followed. His father initially supported his education, but later stopped sending money after remarrying.

“My father stopped paying school fees after his second marriage,” he said. “At that time, my mother did not have a job, and everything became extremely difficult for us financially.”

He said the family struggled to pay rent and school expenses during that period.

“There were days when we did not know how we would pay rent or school fees,” he said. “My father would sometimes say he would send money in a day or two, but often he would not respond to calls. That behaviour still feels very painful to think about.”

He has now stopped depending on his father financially.

“My mother now runs a small business. I do not call my father asking for money anymore,” he said. “Sometimes I call him, but only when I feel like it, not for financial reasons.”

Reflections on his childhood still bring discomfort to this teenager.

“One thing I still remember from my childhood is that we had to schedule time just to be together as a family,” he said. “Many times, my father was unavailable. To think of it now still hurts.”

These accounts represent only a small segment of the lived experiences of children affected by parental separation in Nepal, according to experts who say the psychological and social consequences are widespread but often under-discussed.

According to data from the Supreme Court of Nepal, 40,320 cases were filed across various courts in the fiscal year 2023-24. As many as 31,752 were resolved.

In the fiscal year 2024-25, 42,739 divorce-related cases were registered, with 33,050 decided.

By mid-June of the current fiscal year, 42,703 cases had been filed, and 29,131 already settled.

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Mental health experts say parental separation can have significant psychological and social effects on children, depending on age, environment, and post-divorce parental involvement.

Child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr Amit Jha said divorce directly affects a child’s holistic development.

“For a child’s overall development, both mother and father play essential and complementary roles. Mothers are generally associated with emotional nurturing, while fathers are often linked to practical guidance and understanding consequences,” he said.

“When divorce occurs, this balanced system of parenting is disrupted, and children often experience the loss of a key support structure.”

He said the impact varies significantly by age group.

“Younger children often do not have a clear understanding of concepts such as divorce or death. They struggle to comprehend why parents who once lived together are no longer together,” he said. “As they grow into adolescence, they begin comparing their lives with others. Seeing intact families can lead to feelings of inferiority, emotional distress, and confusion.”

He added that such emotional stress can develop into clinically recognised conditions.

“This can take the form of adjustment disorder, where children experience sadness, low mood, irritability, and emotional instability. In many ways, it resembles grief following bereavement,” he said.

“If such stress persists without proper support, it can develop into more serious conditions such as depression, anxiety disorders, and in some cases, substance abuse. Some children also develop excessive dependence on digital devices, leading to screen addiction as a coping mechanism.”

He stressed that continued co-parenting responsibility after divorce is essential to reduce harm.

“Divorce is a legal separation, not the end of parental responsibility,” he said. “Even after separation, both parents must continue to share responsibility for their children’s emotional and physical well-being.”

He said the parent with custody should also try to balance roles.

“The parent the child lives with should attempt to provide both emotional and practical support,” he said. “Children should not be exposed to negative remarks about the other parent.”

He also highlighted the importance of extended family support systems.

“Grandparents, uncles, aunts, and other relatives can play a crucial role in reducing loneliness and providing emotional stability,” he said.

Early intervention is critical when warning signs appear.

“If a child shows persistent sadness, withdrawal, changes in behaviour, sleep disturbances, or loss of appetite, professional counselling should be sought immediately,” he said. “Caregivers also need to look after their own mental health.”

Laxman Prasad Sharma, an associate professor at Tribhuvan University, said family breakdowns create long-term uncertainty for children.

“In the absence of stable emotional bonding and a supportive environment, a child’s learning and development can be significantly affected,” he said. “This raises serious questions about the kind of society we are shaping in the future.”

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Under Sections 114 and 115 of the National Civil Code, 2017, custody and care arrangements after divorce are determined based on the child’s age and best interests.

“While deciding custody in divorce cases, courts prioritise the best interests of the child,” advocate Bhabesh Gautam told Kantipur.

“A child under five years is generally placed with the mother, regardless of remarriage status,” he said. “For children between five and ten years, custody may be given to the mother, with the father responsible for expenses, or custody may also be granted to the father.”

For children above ten years, the child’s preference is taken into account in determining custody, Adhikari said.

In practice, visitation rights are often difficult to enforce despite legal provisions.

“Although the law allows visitation at any time, implementation in Nepali society remains inconsistent,” he said. “In higher-income families, children are sometimes taken abroad, making contact with the other parent difficult. In middle-class families, children often experience a lack of paternal presence after divorce.”

“In lower-income families, divorce is relatively less common unless the woman remarries, so cases of child separation are comparatively fewer,” he said.

Child protection worker Gita KC Darnal said children often struggle to accept parental separation, particularly when remarriage is involved.

“Children find it extremely difficult to accept divorce,” she said. “When parents remarry, the psychological impact on children often intensifies. Even if they appear to accept it externally, many struggle internally to adjust to new family structures.”

She said equal emotional support from both parents is essential.

“When children do not receive balanced love and care from both parents, their mental health is affected due to a lack of stability and security,” she said.

“After divorce, many children experience emotional distress. Some develop mental health conditions, while others may be pushed towards risky behaviours or substance use,” she said.

She added that feelings of loneliness are widespread among affected children.

“Most children grow up imagining a united family,” she said. “Even when parents attempt to maintain contact after separation, children can still feel emotionally isolated when each parent begins building a separate life.”