Books as tools for emotional growth

Sagar Satyal, co-founder of My Emotions Matter, discusses how reading has helped him understand the importance of cultivating empathy. Books as tools for emotional growth

Photo: Courtesy of Sagar Satyal

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Timila Maharjan

Published at : October 10, 2024

Updated at : October 10, 2024 05:42

Sagar Satyal, co-founder of My Emotions Matter, a social enterprise focused on enhancing emotional intelligence in individuals and teams, sat down with the Post’s Timila Maharjan. In this conversation, Satyal highlights the importance of books in understanding emotions and building empathy.

What are your earliest memories of reading books?

I didn’t start reading until my early twenties. In 2015, a friend recommended two books—‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ by Mitch Albom and ‘Siddhartha’ by Hermann Hesse—during a tough time when I felt lost and questioned my purpose. ‘Siddhartha’, in particular, encouraged me to challenge societal norms, carve my path, and find meaning by valuing my personal experiences.

Do you have specific genres or authors that have greatly influenced your philosophy?

Since reading ‘Siddartha’, I have realised that books can be a gateway to understanding the world. I like reading fiction, memoirs, self-help books, and philosophy. In recent years, my philosophy has been influenced by David Benatar and Marshall Rosenberg.

What are some of the most impactful books you’ve read that shaped your understanding of emotional intelligence?

The most impactful books on Emotional Intelligence have been ‘Nonviolent Communication’ by Marshall Rosenberg, ‘Leadership and Self-Deception’ by the Arbinger Institute, and ‘Difficult Conversations’ by Douglas Stone, Sheila Heen, and Bruce Patton.

‘Nonviolent Communication’ by Marshall Rosenberg greatly impacted me. A couple of lines from the book challenged my long-standing belief that others were responsible for my feelings. The quote was: “What others say or do is a stimulus but never the cause of our feelings. Our feelings come from our needs.” It took me a few days to fully grasp the meaning, but once I did, I realised how I had avoided self-responsibility throughout my life. This insight gave me a sense of empowerment over my reactions and choices.

It has also significantly influenced my work at My Emotions Matter. A key focus of our Emotional Intelligence workshops and courses is to foster self-awareness and personal responsibility in individuals, enabling them to enhance their well-being, communication, and relationships.

How has your reading habit influenced your journey in co-founding My Emotions Matter?

During the 2015 earthquake, I realised the importance of understanding, managing, and positively expressing my emotions. However, I didn’t know then that these skills were part of emotional intelligence. I discovered this through my reading habits, which played a role in co-founding My Emotions Matter.

Two books that inspired me were ‘Emotional Intelligence 2.0’ by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves and ‘Start Here’ by Eric Langshur and Nate Klemp.

Can reading be a tool to build emotional awareness and empathy?

Books have played a key role in my emotional growth, offering guidance and mentorship throughout my journey of developing emotional intelligence. Many books have provided me with practical tools and frameworks. Additionally, reading fiction has allowed me to deepen my self-awareness and empathy.

Reading is a powerful tool for building emotional awareness and empathy. Through self-reflective exercises in nonfiction or by connecting with the emotions of fictional characters, readers can improve their ability to recognise, understand, and express their feelings.

What inspired you and your team to publish the book ‘My Emotions Matter’?

When we launched My Emotions Matter in 2018, we quickly noticed that many workshop participants struggled to answer the question, ‘How are you feeling?” Emotional literacy, or identifying basic and complex emotions, is key to emotional intelligence. We wanted to raise public awareness about this important skill. Around that time, a friend from the USA, Ari Satok, approached us with a challenge: to create a project in Nepal for under $100 that had never been done before.

Inspired by this opportunity, we addressed the lack of emotional literacy. We pitched the idea to Ekta Books; fortunately, they liked it. In 2020, My Emotions Matter was published as an illustrative guide to help improve emotional literacy.

Do you plan to publish more books?

We are currently working on publishing the Nepali edition of our first book, ‘My Emotions Matter.’ This need became evident while working with community schools, where improving emotional literacy is essential. We hope to promote emotional awareness and literacy across Nepal through this initiative.

How has reading contributed to your leadership? How do you integrate insights from your reading into your training and workshops?

Reading has played a crucial role in my personal and professional development. The insights I’ve gained have increased my self-awareness regarding my emotions, made me more responsible for my needs, and enhanced my empathy toward others. These lessons have expanded my knowledge and helped me embody the qualities essential for leading effective training and coaching sessions for My Emotions Matter.

I set aside time for reading, taking notes, and integrating new ideas, concepts, and frameworks into my training and coaching programs. This approach improves the quality and effectiveness of my workshops, ultimately empowering more individuals to enhance their well-being, communication, and relationships.

Sagar Satyal’s book recommendations

Personal MBA

Author: Josh Kaufman

Publisher: Penguin Books Limited

Year: 2011

This book provides valuable business insights using straightforward frameworks that can be used in real-life situations.

Better Never to Have Been

Author: David Benatar

Publisher: Oxford University Press

Year: 2006

Benatar’s book argues in favour of antinatalism, a philosophical view that says procreation is unethical and causes serious harm.

The Courage to be Disliked