News of a heavily pregnant woman who was burnt alive by her husband in a dowry case in Banke is proof that violence against women is still prevalent in our society.  It’s a bitter reality that even women born in the 21st century still face threats and mental and physical torture from husband and in-laws in the name of dowry. This gruesome crime has occurred despite all the rhetoric on Nepal’s development, advancement, equality and justice.

Uncertain safety

If a woman cannot feel safe within her own family, with her own husband, where is safety for her? This is not just the case of one Rihana Sheikh Dhapali but is emblematic of many such instances. Some are courageous enough to speak out and seek justice whereas others continue to suffer in silence, afraid of their families and society. Domestic violence against women will persist as long as patriarchal norms and illiteracy prevail.

This is not to say that no progress has been made on women’s rights. Many women have the freedom to give up their traditional roles and have done so. Women earn their own bread and butter today. And many even lead countries in addition to multinational companies. They are now part of every social, economic and political development throughout the globe.

Urban and rural divide

But the condition of women across the globe is not same. Many Nepali women do not still have the freedom to make their own life choices. They remain victims of inequality, injustice and discrimination on the basis of their gender. Comparatively, urban women enjoy more freedom and independence. Rural women, however, have yet to be treated as equals by their male counterparts. They face restrictions everyday from their family members as society struggles to breakaway from patriarchal norms and values. Worse still, they are  subject to domestic and social violence, sexual harassment, rape, dowry and accusations of witchcraft. 

Various programmes, rallies, interactions, campaigns, workshops and concerts are organised to appreciate the role of women. Such efforts recognise women for their achievements regardless of their ethnic, linguistic, cultural, economic or political differences. But such efforts alone are not enough. Even as Nepal marks ‘Women’s Day’ and the younger generation in Kathmandu feels that ‘all the battles have been won for women’ not all Nepali women feel the same joy or pride for being born a woman. This is because many are still deprived of basic rights. Laws have been formed, budgets allocated, women representation is sought in every field and social awareness campaigns on women’s rights are also on the rise. So it saddens me to hear of mothers, wives and friends who have yet to acquire any semblance of rights in their own lives.

Fight for freedom

Society is not just made up of men and women but also of norms and values, rules and regulations, order and discipline. The state must enforce strong laws and take action against the perpetrators of violence. Punishment amounting to a few months or years in prison is not a solution. Such punishment can never demoralise or discourage those with a sick mentality. Similarly, all sorts of discrimination against women must be ended as soon as possible. Until the roots of illiteracy are cut down completely, nobody can help women. Public awareness and women’s education and empowerment must combat violence against women.

Our society lacks a proper attitude towards women, but on the bright side, things are gradually changing. Women should stand up for themselves. They need to raise their voice for themselves. Nobody can grant us our rights or freedoms until we want and fight for them. Women need to value their existence, speak up and have the courage to stand up against patriarchal attitudes and practices in society. We need to embolden our spirits. Every single woman has the right to live her life with dignity.

Kafle holds a Masters in English Literature