My hands fixed on the shoulder straps of my backpack, I was walking on an unfamiliar pavement. The exam centre was in a different city this time and though this was the first time I’d come there, somehow, this was the last day of the exam. Of course, this was a dream.

But even in a dream, I was no less of a nervous wreck. It seemed like I was searching for a bus to take me home. Ah, there it was!

I’d been walking a seemingly endless road to find a bus. And finally, on the opposite side of the road, a little further from where I stood, I saw a long line of identical buses. They were all white with two blue stripes cutting the bus horizontally in half. They looked like cheap toys with sloppy finishing, lined up for packaging. I wasn’t used to seeing buses without number plates and their destinations printed on laminated paper.

There was no driver in the first one but it was packed with passengers. I decided to take the bus. I went through a shutter-like door and, to my surprise, the seats resembled that of a train’s. I sat where I thought I would be comfortable and closer to the exit.

I sat there for god knows how long, anxiously, wanting to ask someone about the bus’s route but equally terrified to do so. The bus driver still hadn’t arrived. After a while, I heard some familiar sounds, some broken phrases I could understand. My palms were sweaty and I’d been feeling lost so hearing a language I understood made me let out that breath I was unconsciously holding.

I scanned the faces near where the sound was coming from. Near the driver’s seat, I spotted a group of women who looked like the aunties in my neighbourhood. I stood up awkwardly and walked up to them, as if the chains binding my feet had come off.

“Uh, could you please tell me where this bus is going?” I wasn’t sure if any of them heard me, or if I even spoke intelligibly.

One of them had a striking resemblance to my mom. She sat at the end of the blue berth. She turned only half of her face towards me and after studying my face for a moment, she replied, “Oh, this bus? I’m sure its last stop is… “

“I see, thank you then,” I politely excused myself even though I could not comprehend what she had just told me. She named a place that I had never heard of before, or I had simply misheard her. But regardless, I made no extra effort to clarify my confusion. As I turned back to take my seat, she grabbed my hand placed three weird looking fruits on them, all because “I looked lost and pale,” she said. I didn’t know what to make of her gifts or the remnants of the laugh lingering on her face when she handed them to me. “Here, eat them,” she said. She didn’t pay me any attention after that. I quietly obeyed her and plopped down on my seat.

Right beside my seat, two old ladies were mumbling, looking at a magazine. I offered them two of the fruits, which they happily ate and smiled at me. I smiled back.

The bus started moving.

I knew it was going to a place I knew nothing of but for some reason, I didn’t get off.

Wind blew inside the bus through the windows and I felt myself calming down, my body giving in to a peace I’d only experienced a handful of times.

Out of the window was an expanse of grains and vegetables nearing harvest. The colours were golden, with some patches of refreshing green. The bus moved smoothly, unlike the ones I was used to riding, and soon enough a spell of sleep fell over me. I dreamt of floating on a beautifully dark sea while the stars shined overhead and waves of happiness cloaked me.

But darkness sent me to another jolt.

I don’t know where I went upon reaching the last stop, or if the bus stopped at all. I was leaving the dream, waking up to a harsh realisation that I had an exam in the morning and that I had woken up at an ungodly hour of 12:35 at night or morning or whatever it was. I had a few chapters that I needed to study, my book was beside me on the bed. All the warmth was seeping out of me. I had no time to lose sleeping or dreaming anymore. So I dealt with it, like I always do.

I wished I hadn’t fallen asleep in the dream, or woken up from it. Maybe I could have escaped my home, my life and run off to unknown places.

Duwal is a Grade 11 student at Bagiswori Secondary School