As Nepal continues to deal with the devastating floods of August 26, many of us feel that we are just watching from a distance. We see destroyed homes, hear about people searching for their loved ones, follow rescue efforts, and encounter stories of loss on our phones every day.

For many people, this feeling is difficult to explain. Life has continued in its ordinary way for many of us. We eat our meals, go to work, meet friends, and sleep in our own beds while others are facing experiences that are difficult for us to understand.

This contrast can leave us feeling uncomfortable, or even guilty for continuing with our lives when someone else’s has been turned upside down.

And then comes the question: “What can I do?” That question can easily turn into, “Am I doing enough?” This is where helplessness can begin. The feeling is not unusual. Disasters bring uncertainty, fear, and distress, not only to those affected but also to people who witness them from a distance. And this is where we need to understand that some things are outside our control.

We cannot change what has happened. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do anything. In crises like these, we tend to look at the size of the problem and compare it to our own ability to help. When we do that, our individual contribution can feel tiny, and even useful actions can start to feel meaningless.

But not being able to do everything is not the same as being unable to do anything.

There will always be a gap between what we wish we could do and what we can do. That gap does not have to be a reason to walk away. It can also show what we still need to learn, what we can do differently, and how we can become more useful the next time someone needs help. We do not need to solve everything. We need to recognise what is within our reach and do that.

Right now, many people want to travel to affected areas and help directly. Others are spending hours searching for updates, reading every post, and trying to keep up with everything happening. We have all the right intentions behind this. We want to feel useful.

But there is a point at which the urge to help can become a source of distress. You may spend hours searching for information and watching distressing images, only to end the day exhausted and feeling like you have not done anything. The answer isn’t to stop caring. It is to find a way of caring that does not leave you powerless.

There is another trap that is easy to fall into. Our phones allow us to see suffering almost immediately. We watch one video, then another, then another. We refresh the news, check social media, and search for updates every few minutes. We may tell ourselves that we need to stay informed, and sometimes we do.

But watching is not the same as helping. Constant exposure to suffering does not bring relief to those who are affected, and it can leave us overwhelmed.

This is not just a matter of opinion. Research on disaster-related media exposure has found associations between exposure to distressing disaster coverage and psychological distress, including post-traumatic stress symptoms, among people who may not have been directly exposed to the disaster itself. Media exposure can become an important part of people’s psychological response to disasters.

This does not mean we should stop caring or stop following the news. It means we should ask ourselves a simple question: “What am I going to do with this information?”

If the answer is that we are looking for something actionable, then the information may be useful. If we are watching the same suffering repeatedly because we feel that looking away would mean we do not care, it may be time to pause. You do not need to witness every painful image to prove that you care. You are allowed to be okay.

Perhaps the most uncomfortable feeling right now is guilt. You may find yourself laughing with a friend and suddenly feel guilty. You may enjoy a meal, go to the gym, watch a movie or sleep peacefully and then think about the people who cannot do the same. But your guilt does not reduce someone else’s suffering. Making yourself miserable does not make another person’s situation better.

There is an important difference between being indifferent to suffering and continuing to live while caring about it. You can be grateful that you are safe and still be concerned about those who are not. You can enjoy an ordinary moment and still care about what is happening elsewhere.

This is not an argument to look away.

So what should we do?

Start small. If you have the resources, contribute through a credible relief effort. If you have useful skills, look for legitimate ways to volunteer. Share information that can help, not just that creates fear. Check on friends, family members, or colleagues who may be struggling. If you are overwhelmed, talk to someone rather than carrying it alone. And sometimes, doing nothing for a while is also necessary.

Eat. Sleep. Work. Study. Talk to your friends. Go outside. Take a break from your phone. These things may feel futile at a time when nothing feels ordinary. But ordinary routines give our minds something stable to hold on to. Practical support, social connection and helping people regain a sense of safety and control during. Perhaps that is also what we need to do for ourselves.

We do not need to convince ourselves that everything will be okay. We do not know that. We also do not need to pretend that we can fix everything.

We need to ask: What is within my reach today?

Maybe it is a donation. Maybe it is useful information. Maybe it is supporting someone who is struggling. Maybe it's about taking care of yourself so you can keep showing up tomorrow. The disaster is bigger than any one of us. Our responsibility is not to carry the whole weight of it. Our responsibility is to carry what we can.

And sometimes, the first step out of helplessness is recognising that small actions are not useless simply because they are small.