When a child goes abroad, their relationship with parents shifts slowly, stretching across time zones; daily conversations become shorter with phone calls, and texting avoids mentioning actual worries.

Ultimately, the distance becomes a barrier to emotional connection, not only due to time zones and busy routines but also because sharing fewer concerns becomes a way to protect each other.

Kamala Paudel, a psychosocial officer with the Centre for Mental Health & Counselling-Nepal (CMC) under the Karnali Mental Health Project, discusses the emotional disconnect between parents and children abroad.

What are the main psychological reasons behind emotional disconnection between young Nepalis living abroad and their parents back home?

Many young people living abroad are much more invested in earning money than in pursuing education. Juggling work, studies, and cultural assimilation makes it difficult to adapt, and when that happens, there is little to no time to even talk with parents.

Also, for parents, there is a sense of ‘stepping away from responsibilities’ in their child’s life, which makes them question their role as parents. There is also a void in not being there for their children, which further creates emotional distance.

Harsh expectations, whether direct or indirect, placed on children could lead them to neglect their physical health. Loans taken through their family could weigh on them. Between a parent and child, such financial issues can also lead to changes in their dynamics.

This disconnection also stems from cultural distance. Those who reside abroad may feel alienated from their own festivities that occur only in their home country, such as the Nepali New Year. On the other hand, they might be having trouble adapting to another culture that is different from their own. Expressing such concerns to their parents could mean the parents struggle to find them relatable.

What are some early signs of emotional disconnection that parents and children can notice before it worsens?

For physical aspects, headaches, fatigue, and trouble sleeping manifest as a form of stress, while emotionally, the disconnection may appear as shorter, less meaningful conversations and delayed responses or a growing reluctance to share personal struggles. Both parents and children may begin to stick to surface-level updates, avoiding deeper discussions with one another.

How do cultural expectations in Nepal, such as respect for elders and limited emotional expression, affect communication in long-distance parent-child relationships?

In Nepali culture, one thing I have noticed is parents’ frequent comparison of children’s successes with those of others. That does not change even when there is distance between them; instead, heavy expectations on career and familial duties start piling up. Rather than placing heavy expectations regarding finances and achievements, parents must try to sympathise more with their children.

Most Nepali parents also hesitate to show their emotional side to their children. But I believe they should instead convey their concerns and everyday moments to their children. For example, calling their child during festivals to express how much they miss them or making an effort to check in by asking about their emotional well-being rather than just daily updates. These trivial gestures can be a significant factor in changing how children perceive their parents, also prompting them to lean more on their parental figures.

What are some ways in which parents and children could try to maintain emotional closeness?

Trying to change your love language to words of affirmation can help achieve that emotional connectivity. Children abroad are unable to confide in many people, and counselling also imposes a time and financial burden on them. So, parents can try to be more open with them by frequently expressing that they are both loved and missed. If there is a difficulty in time allocation for calls, both of them could share videos and images of how their day went, utilising their social media platforms.

How can parents in Nepal adapt their communication style to better connect with children who are exposed to different cultures and lifestyles abroad?

I suggest parents be more reciprocal towards their children. As children face difficulties with a new culture and lifestyle, they naturally tend to seek someone who can listen to them. Parents should adapt their communication style to listening without nagging or taunting.

What consequences can be seen in such relationships when emotional disconnection persists?

Having a complicated relationship with parents affects the level of functioning with which daily life activities can be performed smoothly. In this case, children might have trouble even doing the simplest tasks because the fading presence of a parent means a loss of emotional reassurance and everyday guidance, making routine decisions feel difficult. Hence, the children staying abroad cannot keep up with their jobs due to elevated stress levels. Such complex relationship issues lead to isolation from social situations, ultimately worsening them.

If this sort of disconnection continues in the long term, one of the parties may even resort to emotional ghosting and cutoffs, which is a very unfortunate thing for any family.