Death is an ultimate truth. It is a natural part of life, for everyone who is born must one day die.

Science has made progress in prolonging life through modern medicine and treatment. These advances can ease pain and make the final journey more comfortable. Yet, even the best medical care becomes powerless when death arrives, taking a person regardless of how long or how well they have lived.

Birth, life, and death are both familiar and difficult to understand fully. Thinking deeply about these topics requires looking at them through many lenses—philosophy, theology, biology, and medicine—to understand their meaning and weight. In this context, memoirs become powerful tools, blending personal experience with reflection.

‘Like Water on Leaves of Taro: A Himalayan Memoir’ by Tulasi Acharya, PhD, is one such work. It draws readers in and encourages them to reflect on the themes woven throughout the book—life, love, emotional connection, rituals and traditions, gender bias, and death.

As the title suggests, human life is fleeting, and the book reinforces this through a meticulous and heart-wrenching story. The writer loses both his in-laws within five months, both before the age of 60. The grief and shock his wife faces, and the emotional turmoil she endures after losing her parents, are presented in the form of a diary.

The events unfold during the Covid-19 pandemic, a time already marked by fear and loss. The author first loses his mother-in-law and later his father-in-law in a suburban area of Pokhara Valley.

Having just returned to Nepal from the US, the author hoped to end the long separation, spend time with his family in Kathmandu, and celebrate his daughter’s first birthday. But soon after the family reunited, tragedy struck. His mother-in-law collapsed on the way from Pokhara to Kathmandu in late 2019 and passed away before reaching the hospital. The in-laws were travelling to Kathmandu for the father-in-law’s treatment for severe stomach pain.

The couple were in a cheerful mood, hopeful about meeting their daughter’s family in Kathmandu and seeking medical care. But that hope was cut short by death. The sudden passing of the mother-in-law and the suffering the writer’s wife endured afterwards were made even heavier when the family learned that the father-in-law had cancer. His illness led to a slow and painful decline. He passed away the following year, within six months of his wife’s death.

Through this true story, the first-person narrative also explores pancreatic cancer, medical treatment, hospital experiences, doctors’ attitudes toward patients, and sociocultural issues such as death rituals and gender bias. The book also draws thoughtful comparisons between Nepal and developed countries like the US.

The writer witnesses the collapse and dissolution of a family in a short span of time. Since his wife had no brother, he took on the responsibility of arranging hospital care, consulting doctors for his ailing father-in-law, and following up on his treatment. Yet, he could not perform cultural rites such as mourning ceremonies. In Nepali society, where gender bias is entrenched, women without brothers often face obstacles in conducting funeral rituals.

The author’s wife struggles with this reality. She yearns to perform shraddha, the death anniversary ritual for her mother, but is told she cannot because she is not a son. Despite her love for her parents, social and cultural restrictions leave her helpless. The writer captures her grief and inner conflict with sensitivity and nuance.

The memoir also highlights how the family navigates loss together. Collective support and the writer’s frequent counseling help his wife cope with her pain, making the book as much about managing grief as about personal loss. The story portrays emotional attachment as a powerful force—capable of inspiring joy, sorrow, and reflection. The memoir depicts the fragile, vulnerable stages of human life, leaving a lasting impression on readers.

The writer also faces a personal dilemma—whether to leave Nepal to take up a milestone academic job in the US or stay to support his grieving family. In the end, he makes the right choice by negotiating with his employer to teach his class virtually, allowing him to be present for his family while continuing his career.

He also draws comparisons between Nepal and the US on healthcare, women’s rights, and patient rights, highlighting stark contrasts. In Nepal, patients are often not informed about fatal illnesses, while only relatives are told, leading to panic and confusion. This was the case with the writer’s father-in-law, who was unaware that he had cancer even as he faced imminent death. His illness was linked to a long-standing ulcer caused by heavy drinking 20 years earlier, which eventually developed into cancer.

The writer reflects on the challenges in Nepali healthcare while noting the high cost of treatment in the US, despite higher service standards.

Since the story is rooted in Nepal’s context, culture, and relationships, many words are presented in italics and explained to help foreign readers understand them. The book’s timeline adds depth, allowing readers to follow the events clearly.

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Like Water on Leaves of Taro: A Himalayan Memoir

Author: Tulasi Acharya

Publisher: Colorful Crow Publishing
Year: 2025