Our greatest Prime Monster Oli Dai is off to New York to waste our taxpayers’ money like every other Prime Monster preceding him. It seems that our Prime Monsters want to spend some vacation time in New York every year in the name of attending the General Assembly of the United Nations. And it’s always good to take a break before the Dashain season begins. Yes, refresh yourself overseas because when you get back home, you have to face a hectic schedule of contractors showering you with gift hampers. When Dashain comes, our netas, hakim sahebs and thulo mancyes get free khasis, free bideshi whiskeys and boras of cash from other con artists who make their moolah from government contracts.

Why spend millions of Rupees and make the Americans richer by spending a few days in the Big Apple when that money can be spent on the needy ones here back home? If our chor netas were really serious about saving us a few Rupees then they would be taking a small crew when visiting foreign lands but it seems that our thulo mancheys think that this country owes them free vacation packages and if they don’t take their near and dear ones now then they won’t have the opportunity to do so later at the expense of the State.

So what will Oli do in New York? As usual, he will give a speech here and there and talk about how successful our country has been so far since we became a Republic. And he will also ask bideshis for help to develop our country. Oli will talk about the success of our peace process to the world. Either the bideshis do not know the ground reality or like to look the other way as long as it fulfills their self interest.

Our peace process has not been successful. Then rebels are now our rulers along with the same batch of unified mundrey leaders who would even shame other wild capitalist pigs. The security forces and the rebel forces both participated in torture and killings of innocent folks and nobody has been punished at all. We all know that everything is now swept under the carpet and neither the Army wallahs and then rebels and now netas want to bring those issues back on the table again. It seems that in New Nepal, our army is now a business house while the House is occupied not by lawmakers who want to bring change to the nation but lawbreakers who want to join hands to loot the State and leave us penniless.

I think our politicians should change their speech writers because our eggheads have been giving the same speech for the past fifty years be it the Pancheys then or the pickpockets today. I think our netas suffer from some kind of an eye disorder. Somebody please called Dr Ruit at Tilganga to take a look. Our pickpockets tell us that we are a success story but so far only those lazy bums who have engaged in politics have made the moolah. We all know that majority of the netas who a decade ago had a shirt and two slippers now own land worth hundreds of Karods and drive around in luxury vehicles. Their kids are now contractors and have a stake in most of our so-called development projects across the country. Even the contracts for roads, airports and other infrastructure projects have been handed out to companies who have managed to make the near and dear ones of our netas partners in these ventures.

Our chor netas neither have any vision nor any mission to change this country. We did expect a lot from Oli and the greatest communist party on Earth. But this is not the same party of Madan Bhandari or Man Mohan and has nothing to do with Marx either. This is the party of the mundreys where criminals and con artists can get their views across to the netas while the real hardworking cadres and comrades are sidelined by the bosses who only seem to care about making as much dough as possible while in power.

Our greatest communist government should realise that elections will come every five years if all is good and if we the voters can elect you to loot us all then we can change our minds and give the opposition

wallahs the same opportunity to loot us again after the next election. After all, Ganesh Man was right when he told us that we are all bhedas and we have been led by the wolves to the slaughterhouse. Leadership is not about just telling jokes, proverbs and giving hawadari speeches but it’s about actions and we are not asking for big trucks when we can get by bicycles.

Oli Dai and Bhauju will get the opportunity to meet President Trump and the First Lady for 12 seconds, take a picture and move along. Our Foreign Ministry officials should warn Oli that Trump has the habit of pulling the other person violently while shaking their hands. So, just do the usual Namaste and tell the most powerful man on Earth that it also saves oneself from germs of others as well.

Oli will also visit Costa Rica after he is done eating hot dogs in New York. Why on Earth do you want to visit Costa Rica? Maybe, one of Oli’s advisors just threw a dart at the world map and picked up the destination or there must be something there. If Oli and his advisors were smart then they would have told our media wallahs and the common folks that Oli has chosen Costa Rica because this small country in Central America is politically stable and prosperous compared to its neighbors. And it’s been seventy years since they got rid of their army.

Maybe, that’s the magic formula that Oli wants to learn. Costa Rica uses the money that could have gone to the military for its health care, education and social security programs. I think it’s time we thought about it as well. Instead of a standing army where the Jar-Shaabs make billions why not allow all Nepali citizens to apply for a UN rapid reaction force and our national army could just be the UN Army to be used for peacekeeping around the world as well.

Oli can also learn a thing or two about how a country earns money from tourists from its jungles and its ecological friendly policies instead of our netas, hakim sahebs and other chors trying to cut down lakhs of trees and make billions of dollars in the name of building an international airport while destroying our environment and inviting natural disasters in that region in the future.

Our netas can learn a lot of things from the world while they visit foreign lands but we are cursed with ignorant fools who think they know everything. Dear Netas, first learn to tie your shoelaces before you teach us about anything else.v