Kamal Thapa, our great Mandaley is now back on the kurchi as our Deputy Prime Monster. We must all ask Kamal Dai to give us his astrologer’s number. Maybe his fortune teller can read our charts as well and tell us if we will be as lucky as our Mandaleys!

Kamal Dai seems to be friends with everyone. Our great comedian Oli had him as his Deputy Prime Monster and now our Emperor has welcomed to his incompetent cabinet as well. Why not make him permanent and just give him a ministerial portfolio for life. Yes, just choose one where you can make the most moolah and continue to support any party that seeks support from others to continue to stay in power.

Thapa is probably the fittest politician in the country. He plays tennis and if there was a boxing match between our chor netas, he would probably win the title every year. But things have changed now. If we had still followed our traditions then our marathon runners would be Kings every other year.

Kamal Dai is not afraid of anyone. He continues to run around the country telling us that he wants to bring ‘Lord Vishnu’ back and make Nepal great again by making this land a ‘Hindu Kingdom’ again. He could possibly one day be our Nepali ‘Trump’. But of course he won’t have to deal with so-called illegal aliens, well, maybe a few hundred or a thousand, but he might go a step further and deport some of our own folks who do not agree with his views.

The former King Gyanu Uncle is busy visiting temples while the new King Kamal Dai is enjoying the power game. Welcome to New Nepal where Mandaleys seem to have all the fun while our Maoists and Madhesi netas seem to be confused on what to do next to win back the votes in the next election.

Kamal Dai heads the fourth largest party in the House. And don’t be surprised if he wins more than half the PR seats in the next general election. And then one day, he will even become our Prime Monster.

Our Emperor seems to have forgotten how he got to power.  While Kamal Dai knows very well that even though he was part of the Panchey Rule and then the ‘Gyanu Uncle’ rule, he will continue to enjoy the loot as our major political parties will continue to need his party’s support to stay in power.

Kamal Dai and his fellow mandaley’s voted against our Emperor during the prime ministerial election in August. But in politics, friends become foes and enemies become lovers. When Gyanu Uncle was the man, Kamal Dai was our Home Minister. If this was any other country, Kamal Dai would be in jail for helping the previous regime to kill protesters.

But this is Nepal and we are Nepalis and we seem to easily forgive and forget. Kamal Dai voted against the then House’ decision to declare this country a Republic. Kamal Dai still insists that we have no choice but to go back to the Stone Age where we worship one King while his courtiers have all the fun.

Gyanu Uncle has no one to blame but himself. He should have only taken a token One Rupee from the State when he was our King and should have contributed most of his earnings from stocks and investment to the welfare of the public.  But of course, he should not have gathered himself with the worst bunch of advisers ever. But it’s all gone now and the best thing for him to do is to start his own political party instead and stand up for election instead of hoping Kamal Dai and his crew will get him back to the throne!

Kamal Dai’s party the RPP tells us that it decided to join the government so that we will have elections on time and the constitution will be finally implemented and will make us all happy. But the truth is that Kamal Dai gets to be our DPM and Local Development Minister. Our government tells us that it will be doling out around Rs 7.4 billion to local units soon. And Kamal Dai will get some of that as well and share the loot with those in the ruling coalition.

That’s how our political parties run the show and as long as there is money to be made, the right wing and the left will continue to be in the same bed! Maybe what Nepal needs is a party that stands on the centre, a pro-capitalist party rather than our so-called communist, socialist and other opportunist parasites!

After all, we all want to make a few Rupees so that we can take care of our families. We do not need a communist state and we don’t want a welfare state because we are proud Nepalis. We do not enjoy free lunch except our netas and civil servants who seem to enjoy everything that will help drain the state coffers!

Baburam has his party and now Rabindra Mishra tells us that he will head a new party. Let us wish Rabindra dai all the luck but in a way, we feel sorry for him because this is the land where you need more money and more muscles so that you can create more problems for the people while you make deals with all other chors to come into power and enjoy the loot.

Yes, before we had the King and his courtiers enjoying the loot and now it’s our contractors, civil servants, con artists and cadres and corrupt clowns who get to share the loot. Maybe someday, it will be the other way round where common folks have all the fun while all the chors are in jail, their property confiscated and their near and dear ones can finally work for a living instead of enjoying the loot!

If we are once again a Kingdom then only Kamal Thapa and his near and dear ones get to loot us all. And even though RPP cadres think that they too will get to join in the fun, the reality is that Kamal Dai and his brother will have all the fun while their cadres will have nothing to do except stand in the sun and wait for King Kamal to pass by!

- Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at [email protected]