Frequently, we hear individuals, or even catch ourselves, expressing the belief that events will unfold as they are meant to. For instance, when facing the anxiety of a job interview, we may reassure ourselves with the notion that if the position is meant for us, we’ll succeed. Or when we find ourselves getting estranged from our loved ones, we think to ourselves; maybe that was for the best, maybe this was meant to happen.

Fate and destiny, or bhagya in Nepali, is a concept that can be heard a lot in our communities. Superstition runs deep in our culture and even I take a moment or two when a black cat crosses the road ahead of me.

I, as a Buddhist, grew up hearing about the concept of Karma. In Buddhist philosophy, the concept of rebirth is central and Karma is understood as the belief that one’s actions determine future consequences. Whatever actions were performed in the previous life are believed to manifest in the current life, suggesting that karma is predetermined by past lives.

To accumulate good Karma for the upcoming life, during the month of Saga Dawa (considered the holiest and most sacred month in Tibetan Buddhism), elders in the family engage in numerous altruistic deeds: donating to the monastery, distributing food and water in the community and giving alms to the needy.

Seeing all this happen, a question comes to my mind. Is it always healthy to attribute our circumstances to fate and destiny? To what extent is our life predetermined and how much autonomy do we possess otherwise? These are crucial questions and they make me ponder and think about them over and over again.

An example comes to my mind. I, as a teenager, have always wanted to be a therapist. I first came across the concept of therapy while watching Western television shows, and I thought to myself: this is exactly what I want to do in my life. Now, as a professional in the field for the past five years, I can’t imagine doing anything else.

I think to myself: Was this path predetermined for me all along? Was I destined to become a therapist?

But then an alternate thought comes to me. It was simply a matter of the choices I made that have led me here. Out of multiple passions and interests that I have had, it was the decisions and the choices that I have made that have led me to become a counsellor and to pursue my career in mental health. It was my choice to become a therapist.

Ultimately, I have come to the realisation that, I do have choices, we all do. We have the liberty to do something else in our lives. We can make choices to lead completely different lives than we are living right now. We have that power.

For a lot of us, during difficult times, we might find ourselves leaning towards the concept of fate and destiny for comfort. Despite our resourcefulness and autonomy as human beings, it’s also quite natural for us to believe that good fortune is guaranteed, regardless of the choices we make. We hold prayers, engage in magical thinking and to put it simply, continue living our lives according to our desires.

However, this mindset can also absolve us from taking actual responsibility for our circumstances. It might give us an excuse not to be proactive. The more we believe that things will happen on their own, the more we might be setting ourselves up for disappointment and confusion.

I remember reading a biography of David Beckham, where it was written that he was always regular and consistent in his practice—spending hours practising his free kicks. Another saying also comes to my mind: when a famous musician was asked about the reason behind his success, he simply replied that if anyone can practice every day for six hours for several years, anyone can be as good as him. This quote has always stayed with me since I first heard it.

Hard work and persistence always pay off. As human beings, we possess a unique privilege that other species do not: the power of free will. We can make choices that shape our lives. Therapy, in essence, empowers us to take ownership of ourselves, which is ultimately its goal after all. People often assume that once something happens in their lives, it's up to fate what happens after that.

They believe that what is the point of trying something new if everything has been predetermined? But that mindset is wrong. We have choices. We are our drivers in our journey and the situations we are in, we have control over it. And understanding this through therapy and self-growth is a liberating feeling.

While external forces may shape our circumstances to some extent, it is our choices and actions that ultimately carve the path of our lives. Whether we draw inspiration from the principles of karma, the comfort of fate or the empowering notion of free will, what remains very clear is our capacity to influence our destinies.

Think of what would happen to us, if we never decided to take that extra step. If our great fathers and forefathers never thought of doing something more in their lives. Would we be where we are if we left everything just to fate? Certainly Not. Our lives and our future is in our hands.

Embracing responsibility for our choices, fostering perseverance and recognising the transformative power of hard work and dedication can pave the way towards fulfilment and self-realisation. The situations we are in can be changed.

The difficulties we might be facing can be tough but it is through our actions that we change it. To change the lives we are currently living, we have to change the decisions we are making every day. The problems we have can be dealt with. Don’t leave everything up to fate. Reach out, you have a choice.