In Lolang Paiyuntar in ward 6 of Tarakeshwar Municipality, on June 5, 42-year-old Kumar Thapa, also known as “Nepali Bro”, allegedly attacked his wife, Ishwari Bhujel, with a metal rod during a domestic dispute. She was critically injured and was declared dead after being taken to the hospital.

According to Ishwari’s relatives, the couple had been experiencing ongoing marital discord. Kumar had repeatedly threatened to kill her, and Ishwari had earlier filed a complaint at the local police station. However, the police post reportedly advised the couple to resolve the issue themselves, treating it as a “minor domestic dispute”. The family said the couple was in the process of divorce at the time of the incident. Ishwari was serving as a first class warrant officer in the Nepali Army.

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In another case at Rithepani settlement in ward 27 of Pokhara Metropolitan City in July last year, 58-year-old Jange Sarki was arrested on charges of killing his wife, Jamuna Nepali. Neighbours alerted police after noticing a foul smell coming from the house. Two days after the incident, police found the 53-year-old woman’s decomposed body on July 24.

According to police, the couple had argued over the sale of land on July 22, after which Jange allegedly punched her twice and fatally struck her against a wall, as revealed by the investigation. Based on a court order issued by the Kaski District Court on August 18, 2025, Jange was sent to custody for trial, according to the Gandaki Province Police Office, Pokhara.

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On May 10, 2025, in ward 2 of Sukedangi of Kankai Municipality in Jhapa, 35-year-old Kabiraj Hemram allegedly killed his wife by attacking her with a khukuri. According to the Jhapa District Police Office, the suspect surrendered to the Surunga police immediately after the incident, which occurred late Saturday night following a domestic dispute.

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These three cases are not isolated ones. Official data for the current fiscal year 2025–26 shows that 68 women have been killed by their husbands. Between fiscal year 2020–21 and 2025–26, a total of 528 women were killed by their spouses. Koshi province has recorded the highest number of such killings with 132, followed by Lumbini with 96 and Madhesh with 81.

At the same time, cases of wives killing husbands have also been reported. In the current fiscal year, seven men were killed by their wives. Over the past six years, 100 men have been killed by their wives.

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Former Additional Inspector General of Police Durga Singh Chand said rising relationship instability, suspicion, and extramarital affairs are increasingly pushing domestic disputes towards fatal violence.

“Today’s major challenges are extramarital relationships, suspicion, and lack of transparency in relationships,” she said. “Many relationships, whether involving men or women, are affected by extramarital affairs.”

She said recent killings should not be seen only as planned crimes. “Family killings are not decisions made in a single day. They are the result of prolonged mental stress,” she said. “No one wakes up one day and decides to kill. Continuous stress, mistrust, humiliation, financial problems, or conflict within relationships gradually increase psychological pressure, which can ultimately lead to such acts.”

Chand said changing family structures and lifestyles have also contributed to rising violence. “Earlier, there were joint families. Neighbourhoods and communities had active oversight, and moral control helped regulate behaviour. That is no longer the case, which is why such incidents are increasing,” she said.

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Senior psychologist Professor Dr Ganga Pathak said increasing self-centred behaviour in society is contributing to rising violence.

“Human empathy, compassion, and emotional connection are weakening in society. Anger and aggression are replacing them. When people fail to control anger, violent behaviour increases,” she said. “People are becoming self-centred. The tendency to immediately fulfil personal desires has reduced sensitivity towards others’ pain and emotions.”

She said killings are not sudden decisions. “These incidents are not spontaneous decisions to kill. They are linked to mental health problems, personality disorders, poor upbringing, family environment, relationship stress, and learned behaviour from society,” she said. “No one is born a criminal. Personality is shaped by family environment and social learning, so behavioural problems from childhood should not be ignored.”

According to Pathak, individuals with violent tendencies often show reduced empathy. “Such individuals often show personality disorders, with symptoms appearing as early as age 14 or 15,” she said. “They may display unnecessary suspicion, poor anger control, and extreme aggression over minor issues, which can later escalate into violent behaviour.”

She added that brain chemistry may also play a role. “Levels of hormones such as oxytocin, which are associated with love, empathy, and happiness, may be lower in such individuals, while negative thinking, revenge, and aggression-related tendencies become more active,” she said. “If timely counselling and access to mental health services are ensured, violent tendencies and future crimes can be reduced.”

Laxman Prasad Sharma, assistant professor of sociology at Tribhuvan University, said domestic violence should be understood not only as individual behaviour but also as a product of broader social and economic structures.

“Every incident is produced through social structure, relations, and interaction. The expansion of the global capitalist economy has significantly changed Nepali social structures and relationships,” he said. “As a result, such incidents are occurring.”

He said changes in family systems, kinship, marriage, politics, and the economy are visible. “A culture of display, formality, and mistrust is becoming stronger in society,” he said.

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On the legal framework, advocate Prakash Niraula said the National Penal Code, 2017 classifies acts of murder based on intent and nature, with corresponding punishments.

“Killing with intent falls under intentional homicide. Sections 177 and 178 of the Penal Code apply in such cases, and the punishment is life imprisonment,” he said. “In cases of impulsive killing, the offender faces 10 to 15 years in prison and a fine ranging from Rs100,000 to Rs150,000.”

He said husband-wife disputes often stem from multiple factors. “Many cases involve property and financial disputes, dowry-related conflicts, suspicion arising from foreign employment and distance, extramarital relationships, and alcohol-related domestic disputes,” he said.

Niraula added that under Section 41 of the Penal Code, six categories of aggravated murder carry life imprisonment, including brutal killings involving torture or dismemberment, hijacking or bomb-related killings, hostage killings, poisoning of public food or drink, genocide, and rape followed by murder.

He said the purpose of law is not only punishment but also rehabilitation, although Nepal lacks a clear legal framework for engaging prisoners in work inside prisons.

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Women’s rights activist Rita Sah said patriarchal structures still make women unsafe within their own families.

“Women’s education levels, mobility, and economic empowerment have increased. Access to technology and information has also made women more aware of their rights and bodily autonomy,” she said. “However, as women become more empowered, society and families have not fully accepted this, making relationships more toxic and complex.”

She said society still struggles to accept women asserting their rights. “Everyone says women should be empowered, but few are willing to accept empowered women,” she said. “Even when women demand their rights or raise their voices, society struggles to accept it. Patriarchal thinking remains strong, especially in the Tarai region.”

She also said forms of violence have become more brutal. “The nature of violence has changed. Extremely brutal acts are now seen,” she said. “After cybercrime, domestic violence is now one of the most common forms of violence in Nepal.”

She said victim-blaming further strengthens perpetrators. “Our society has a strong victim-blaming culture. When women speak out or file cases, they often receive no support from either their maternal or marital families,” she said. “This increases the confidence of perpetrators, sometimes leading them to escalate to murder.”

Despite existing laws and institutions against domestic and sexual violence, she said weak implementation and lengthy legal procedures further deepen victims’ suffering.

She added that gendered upbringing plays a role in shaping behaviour. “Boys and girls are raised differently. Girls are taught to be reserved and stay indoors, while boys are not taught how to treat women respectfully,” she said. “Boys often imitate the behaviour they see at home from their fathers, and later repeat it in their own lives.”