A few days ago, I chatted with colleagues I had just met. What started as a simple introduction of names evolved into sharing our life stories. As I listened to them, I found myself shedding a few tears. These tears were not just ordinary; they were accompanied by fear and anxiety.

Later that day, I took some time to reflect alone. My mind wandered, trying to find a reason. Surprisingly, I found a small link between their story and a part of my past I had tried to forget. The connection wasn’t clear, but it was enough to bring back feelings I thought were gone. But why? Why did a stranger’s story, which had nothing to do with me, make my old pain feel fresh again? The answer was simple: triggers.

A trigger is like an alarm system that rings every time you sense a connection to a painful experience. You could be going about your day normally when something—a sound, a smell, or a specific phrase—suddenly washes over you with emotion. You feel anxious, angry, or even helpless, seemingly out of nowhere. You might not immediately understand why, but your body and brain are reacting to something deeply rooted: trauma.

Traumas are caused by events that overwhelm you to such a degree that the nervous system cannot cope with those emotions. So, our memories get packed away like baggage and stored deep inside us, where they can’t easily affect us. But now and then, something forces that baggage to resurface and spill out everything inside.

It could be someone’s tone of voice. A song you haven’t heard in years. A random conversation with a stranger. A colour. A scent. They act like a tiny needle that pops a balloon and floods you with sudden emotions.

The brain catches up later, but the body reacts first. It remembers what it felt like when a person wearing a green shirt touches you, assuming you are asleep. So the next time it sees a green shirt, it reacts in fear, even though it’s not the same person wearing it.

It’s less about what happened and more about what it felt like. Because trauma doesn’t follow logic.

So, what happens when one is triggered?

Your body reacts first: Your pulse accelerates, muscles tighten, and breath shortens. Only after the rush will you understand why.

Emotional flashback: You feel like it is happening right now.

You avoid things: You avoid certain songs, places, people and situations as much as possible.

An onlooker might think of these responses as overreactions, but they simply are the body’s way of protecting you, doing what it once had to do to keep you safe, even if the threat is no longer there.

While you can’t always stop a trigger, you can learn to respond in ways that help you feel more grounded.

Start by naming what’s happening: “My body thinks I’m not safe, but I am.” Saying this out loud can help shift your brain out of panic and into the present. Then, ground yourself through your senses. Press your feet into the floor. Sip water and notice the temperature. Look around—name five things you see. These small actions signal safety to your nervous system.

Use intentional slow and deep breathing. Breathe in through your mouth for four seconds, and out through your mouth for six.

Trauma often grows in silence, but healing happens in connection. So talk to someone you trust.

You may also find bilateral movement very helpful. This means engaging in repetitive left-right motion, such as walking, tapping your hands alternately on your thighs, or slowly moving your eyes from side to side.

Remember, healing doesn’t happen all at once: it’s made up of small, quiet moments where you choose to keep going. Each breath, each grounding step, each gentle reminder to yourself that you’re safe now is a step forward. And every journey starts with a step.

Manandhar is a mental health advocate. She also provides psychosocial counselling.