Do you ever accomplish things but still feel like you need to prove your competence? Do you ever doubt your success and worry that you might not deserve it? If so, you might be experiencing imposter syndrome.

Imposter Syndrome is when you feel like you’re not as good at something as others perceive you to be, even if you’re successful. You doubt your abilities and fear being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of your achievements.

Counsellor and psychologist Bina Shrestha, who specialises in gestalt therapy, shares her insights on the phenomenon.

What is imposter syndrome?

Imagine passing your scooter driving test after putting in a lot of effort, but instead of feeling proud, you think it was just luck. That’s imposter syndrome. It’s when you don’t credit yourself for your hard work and success. People with imposter syndrome believe their achievements are mistakes or luck and don’t deserve them.

It’s normal to have some self-doubt, but usually, it fades away with time. But the doubt doesn’t go away for those with imposter syndrome, and they can’t enjoy their success. Instead, it becomes stressful as they always question whether they deserve their accomplishments.

What are its signs and symptoms?

When you have imposter syndrome, you might feel like you’re not as good as others and have very low self-esteem. You might also always feel like an imposter and worry that if others find out, they’ll treat you badly. When given new tasks, you might be scared that someone else could do them better.

Feeling incapable makes you work harder than needed, even for simple tasks. Suppose your office gives you a task, and you’re dealing with imposter syndrome. In that case, you might put in a lot of effort to make it perfect, even if a little effort would be enough. This leads to anxiety and stress. People with imposter syndrome are also often very critical of themselves.

Imposter syndrome is more commonly associated with women; some even think it only happens to women. Is it true?

If we look at the origin of many mental health problems diagnoses, we will find the misconception that mental disorders only affect weak individuals or women. This is incorrect.

Take conversion disorder as an example—it used to be called hysteria, which was wrongly linked only to women. Now, the name has been changed to conversion disorder to reflect a more accurate understanding that mental health challenges can affect anyone, regardless of their strength or gender.

Similarly, imposter syndrome can affect anyone, not just women. The idea that it is more common in women stems from social views that favour men. When I worked on the helpline section of counselling, many men would first talk about problems, saying their female friends were going through them. But after three or four sessions, they admitted they were facing those issues themselves. So, it’s essential to recognise that imposter syndrome can affect everyone, regardless of gender.

What factors can contribute to imposter syndrome?

Childhood experiences, particularly those involving pressure to be perfect, can play a significant role. For example, growing up with constant expectations to achieve top grades can fuel imposter syndrome.

In some families, children may feel they’re never good enough, even when they succeed. Parents may inadvertently reinforce this belief by suggesting that they should achieve more. This can lead children to seek validation through hard work and perfectionism, laying the groundwork for imposter syndrome later in life.

Gender stereotypes also contribute to imposter syndrome, particularly when girls are told they can’t excel in certain areas simply because of their gender. Constantly striving to prove themselves, girls may develop a sense of uncertainty and never feel truly confident in their abilities.

Similarly, societal and familial expectations can exacerbate imposter syndrome, as individuals feel pressured to meet external standards. It’s crucial to remember that your worth should not be determined by others’ expectations. Trying to fulfil everyone else’s ideals can lead to a loss of identity and exacerbate feelings of inadequacy.

It’s important to recognise that experiencing stress, anxiety, and occasional sadness is normal for everyone. Feeling these emotions doesn’t necessarily indicate a mental health disorder. Instead, it’s essential to understand how these feelings affect your daily life and mental well-being.

Are certain personality types more prone to imposter syndrome than others?

No. It can affect individuals of any personality or temperament.

What role do things like gender, cultural background and personal experiences play in imposter syndrome, and is it accurate to assume that certain groups are more susceptible to it based on these factors?

Research suggests that our experiences can contribute to mental health challenges, and early findings linked imposter syndrome more with black women. However, I believe it’s not solely determined by someone’s identity. Assuming certain groups are more prone to mental health issues overlooks individuals’ unique ability to cope with stress. People vary in how they handle challenges, so generalising a specific group is inaccurate. While imposter syndrome was initially associated more with females, it’s important not to assume it’s exclusive to women.

Is it true that imposter syndrome happens only in the workplace?

No, it’s not. While it may be common in jobs with high-performance expectations, it can occur in any setting. For example, receiving inconsistent feedback on your cooking at home might trigger feelings of inadequacy, even if praised unexpectedly. Imposter syndrome can manifest in various situations, not just in professional environments.

What are other misconceptions related to imposter syndrome?

Some believe imposter syndrome only affects those with low economic status or self-esteem, which is incorrect. It can impact anyone, including celebrities. Additionally, there’s a misconception that individuals will perpetually doubt themselves, but this isn’t true. Imposter syndrome can be managed with counselling and support from friends and family.

What suggestions would you give to someone struggling with it?

One significant aspect of mental health problems is acceptance. You have to accept what you are feeling because denial is prevalent. When dealing with imposter syndrome or feeling unsure about yourself, it's crucial to start by acknowledging your emotions. Don't deny what you're feeling, whether fear or doubt. Take a moment to reflect on your hard work and achievements, giving yourself credit for what you've accomplished.

Talking to trusted friends, family, or relatives can also be helpful.

If self-doubt creeps in, take a closer look at your capabilities. Make a list of what you’ve achieved, recall your past successes and the challenges you've overcome. This can help you express yourself and address your doubts.

Lastly, use positive statements to encourage a more optimistic mindset. Remember, it’s okay to seek support and recognise your strengths.

How can friends and family help people with imposter syndrome?

One big way friends and family can help is by listening carefully. When someone shares their feelings, it’s important to pay full attention and hear what they’re saying. This person may have gone through a lot to gather the courage to talk, so listening actively is crucial.

Providing constructive feedback and positive, comforting words can also make a difference. People dealing with imposter syndrome often doubt their achievements, so highlighting and recognising their hard work, whether it’s big or small, can be supportive.