Dreams can be a source of comfort for many, as both dreaming and daydreaming are natural aspects of the human psyche. However, what if this daydreaming becomes disruptive to your life? Maladaptive daydreaming occurs when individuals engage in intense daydreams that consume a significant amount of time, ultimately affecting their daily lives.

Psychologist Sita Maya Thing Lama, with over 18 years of experience, provides insights into maladaptive daydreaming, its symptoms and coping mechanisms in an interview with the Post.

What is the difference between daydreaming and maladaptive daydreaming?

Daydreaming is something everyone does—it’s when we imagine things or create fantasies in our minds. For example, if you’re going to an event tomorrow, thinking about who you'll meet and what you’ll do is a form of daydreaming, and that's perfectly normal.

Daydreaming isn’t all bad; it has some positive aspects. Many people become more stable, confident and better at planning through daydreaming. Take scriptwriters, authors and poets, for instance—they use daydreaming and imagination to boost their creativity. The only time daydreaming becomes a problem is when it starts affecting your daily life, disrupts your activities, and makes you lose touch with the present moment.

The big difference is that regular daydreaming is all in our minds, while maladaptive daydreaming is more immersive and might include things like repeating movements, facial expressions or talking.

What are the signs and symptoms of maladaptive daydreaming?

Not everyone with maladaptive daydreaming shows the same signs because everyone has different experiences and ways of thinking. Some people use maladaptive daydreaming to cope with stress or trauma, so symptoms can vary.

Common signs include being lost in thought, not wanting to do social activities, feeling shame and guilt, getting easily irritated and changes in sleep patterns. Some may also talk to themselves or make hand movements while daydreaming. It’s hard for them to concentrate on regular tasks and the daydreams can last a long time.

If someone already has mental health conditions like anxiety, ADHD, dissociation or OCD, maladaptive daydreaming might happen alongside them. Using addiction to cope with reality could also be a sign.

Everyone’s symptoms are different so, please don’t self-diagnose yourself. If you feel like you’re having problems, it’s best to talk to a mental health expert for help.

Is maladaptive daydreaming a coping mechanism?

If we look at studies, coping and daydreaming are different. However, sometimes maladaptive daydreaming can be a way for someone to handle their past trauma or painful feelings. It’s like a creative adjustment the mind makes to deal with pain, but not everyone’s maladaptive daydreaming is a coping mechanism.

Is maladaptive daydreaming a form of escapism? Do individuals always imagine positive and idealised things in daydreaming disorder?

I wouldn’t call it escapism as it gives a negative connotation. Nobody wants to consciously escape from their life; they all want to deal with their problems. Instead, I would call it a ‘creative adjustment’. If we label it as escapism, it will again trap an individual into a cycle of self-guilt and shame for being unable to deal with things in life.

Different things can trigger maladaptive daydreaming like unresolved trauma. It’s the brain’s way of dealing with pain. People can get lost in both positive and negative daydreams. So, being aware of how daydreaming affects you, whether positively or negatively, is important, rather than feeling guilty about it.

At what age is maladaptive daydreaming more common?

From my therapy experience, I’ve noticed maladaptive daydreaming more in those under 20. However, it doesn’t mean it can’t happen in adults.

What impact can maladaptive daydreaming have on a person’s life?

Maladaptive daydreaming can have a big impact. People might choose daydreaming over spending time with others. It can mess up work, hobbies and personal goals, making it hard to achieve what they want. Many feel guilty about it, especially when it interferes with other parts of their life. It’s like a strong urge or addiction, making it tough to stop even if they try.

This daydreaming can make people feel disconnected from the world around them. People who daydream a lot may also have trouble sleeping. This lack of good sleep affects their ability to concentrate and pay attention, which are also symptoms of maladaptive daydreaming.

I’ve also noticed procrastination in many of my clients dealing with maladaptive daydreaming. They deeply think and imagine doing the work but struggle to get it done in reality. When they fail to do it at the last moment, the cycle of self-guilt continues.

How do you deal with maladaptive daydreaming?

For dealing with maladaptive daydreaming, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be helpful because it’s connected to our thoughts. However, I’m not a CBT therapist; I take a different approach.

I look at the whole picture and try to help individuals connect with the present moment. I try to figure out the root cause of their maladaptive daydreaming—what’s triggering it—and bring awareness to it. Sometimes, we daydream without realising it, so becoming aware of when it’s happening can be a key step in managing it.

What are ways to manage maladaptive daydreaming?

Firstly, don’t try to forcefully control maladaptive daydreaming, but instead, try to manage it. Remember, daydreaming itself is not bad; it becomes a problem when it turns into an addiction and detaches you completely from reality. If you realise you have maladaptive daydreaming, don’t panic and know that you’re not alone, many people struggle with it.

Keep track of when you daydream by taking notes. For many, it happens when they’re alone, so try engaging with others, and talking to trusted friends, family or relatives. Journaling can also be very helpful as writing helps you to express your thoughts, it will become an outlet.

Taking care of yourself is crucial. Make sure you have a good sleep routine and eat at the right times. If your sleep pattern is not good, it will affect your thought pattern, which in turn will affect your emotions and body. So, try to balance your eating and sleeping patterns.

Find activities that make you feel good; it doesn’t always have to involve socialising. Some people find comfort in being alone, so discover what comforts you and helps you concentrate.

If these strategies don’t help, I would suggest you consider therapy and counselling. Maladaptive daydreaming can have roots in unresolved issues, and therapy can be a valuable support.