I think we should stop criticising Oli and his courtiers for not being able to do anything good for this country in the past six months. Oli has managed to visit India and China and if all goes as planned we will have trains rolling from Kerung to Kolkata and ships from India. Forget about making billions from our hydropower. Oli is a man with a master plan. He dreams of selling our Himalayan water and we need ships to transport it to other countries.

Yes, we might not be able to get clean drinking water here at home but we can make billions of dollars by selling our water to the bideshis. That happens with almost everything. We sell our good-quality agricultural products across the border while we import cheaper substandard stuff. Our government thinks allowing our byaparis to build cement factories is what will make us prosperous but what our thulo mancheys fail to understand is that they are instead polluting our air and the residents nearby these factories will breathe in harmful chemicals. Just ask the old folks living in Chobhar area when our government cement factory was in operation then.

Our greatest communist government on Earth still has a good four-and-half years to go and they can take their time to take this country down the drain. Well, if things go as planned then Oli will get to spend another two years in Baluwater before he heads for Benaras. Oli claims to be a political yogi and maybe it’s time he became a religious one as well. But of course, communists are a different lot. They do not believe in God. It’s okay to believe that you are one of the God’s chosen people but our comrades believe that they are God!

We have new laws in town and instead of going after the corrupt, kidnappers, murderers and rapists, our incompetent government thinks it’s a good idea to go after the media. I think our media wallahs should stop publishing pictures of our thulo mancheys. Stop reporting about where our netas went to cut ribbons and waste our taxpayers’ money. Just publish pictures of landslides, floods, potholes. At least you don’t need to ask permission to take such pictures. But this government might come up with a new law that prohibits anybody from publishing picture of any places in this country without seeking permission from the government.

I think our government should ban Facebook and other forms of social media in this country. Just go ahead and ban the Photoshop software as well. That would at least prevent some of our traitors from imposing pictures of our netas with other animals and going to jail for it. We must congratulate Nepal Police for doing a great job going after folks using social media to bitch and whine about our politicians. Yes, it shows that our men and women in blue also use Facebook excessively like half of our folks in this country.

Our government fails to place a ban on plastic bags. It can’t even clear the garbage in the valley and yet it collects garbage tax. Our roads are crumbling and yet our government collects billions of rupees in taxes from our vehicles.

Oli and his courtiers want to make Nepal the best in the world by not sharing information with the public. That way, we won’t even know what our government is up to and our politicians can make more money from other chors without having to worry about reading about it in our papers.

Our young children are raped across the country. Our citizens protest against the negligence of our police wallahs. And what does our government do? They shoot at the protestors. Yes, use the laathis and then the tear gas and rubber and real bullets. Our martyrs have died in vain. The fake prophets are leading this country to ruin while they falsely claim to be working hard to make this country prosperous. We all know who is making all the illegal money in this land. And it’s not you and me. We are honest, law-abiding citizens of this land. We pay our taxes even though we don’t like it because it is our duty as citizens to pay up or get prevented from getting the services required from the government.

Our netas, civil servants and other thulo mancheys make ‘chiya kharcha’ on the side. It’s not your cup of tea or a plate of momo stuff. Our thulo mancheys extort from common citizens, service seekers, contractors, and their own peers. If somebody sits down and does the math then we would not be surprised if we found out that our evil doers make more money than our national budget through corruption in a year. So, if this government is really serious about eradicating corruption in this land then Oli should start from his own party. Be an example to the rest of us.

But that will not happen because if Oli really goes after his own mantris and cadres then he will be out of power and forced to Benaras from Baluwatar in a day. Yes, we have a mafia running this nation and except for Dr KC, no one is brave enough to stand up and fight. Even our poor Home Minister is helpless. Yes, the man is poor because he has only twenty thousand rupees in the bank and two dogs and all other stuff belongs to his spouse like every other netas in town.

Our Home Minister cannot fight against the shady contractors or trigger-happy cops or anyone who is connected to the ‘big sharks’. We still don’t know who are the big sharks because that would violate the privacy of our chors. And Nepal Police should stop making a fool of itself by arresting that guy from the other Maoist party every time our court sets him free. Leave the poor man alone. Don’t file charges for all the nataks his party has done recently on one man. We all know that at the end of the day, our Home Minister will one day offer him a glass of juice. We should request our thulo mancheys to stop faking it.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com.

You may contact him at [email protected]