Have you ever felt your heart getting lighter once you let out things you had held in for a long time? It feels like a weight holding us down has just lifted away. During such times, we need a gentle nod rather than a long list of to-dos from the person listening. A kind, all-knowing smile makes us feel more understood than pointless words uttered to fill silences. A good listener does all these things naturally, and we feel better just by being around them.

When it comes to troubles of the mind, a listener can play a bigger role than someone who is quick to provide feedback; so, a listener can be a healer that can mend our wounds.

But who are these listeners? Are these people born that way? Are there only a selected and special few who have this capacity to be the souls we pour out our sorrows to? No. Anyone can be a good listener. In fact, I am sure you have been one for someone close to you at some point when they were sharing their distress.

Listening isn’t difficult, but it’s something that has a powerful effect on the person talking to you. So the next time someone in need is telling you about their lousy day or venting about the rough time they have been going through, here is how you listen.

Don’t treat it as a burden

When someone chooses you to share their deepest fears and inner troubles, don’t take it as a burden; take it as an honour—because they’ve placed their faith in you out of many people. If it is not the right time for you, or you are not in the right state of mind to hear their worries, let them know that, and settle on a time suitable for both of you to have that conversation instead of feeling irritated and making them feel like they are an inconvenience.

Silence doesn’t mean discomfort

Most of us find ourselves in a dilemma of what to say when someone tells us about a complicated situation they are in. That is natural, and it’s ok not to know how to respond. In these instances, it is better not to react or say something just to fill in the silence. Let the other person know that you are genuinely listening to what they are saying and that you are there for them. You do not need to rush in with the solutions to fix everything that is wrong. Meaningful silences are better than unfelt words.

Be genuine

There’s this quote that has really struck a chord with me: “Listen, don’t just wait for your turn to speak.” That is a common mistake we all make when others speak. We listen without genuinely wanting to.

People can tell when someone is being genuine or not with their words and actions. Do not listen because you feel obliged to; try to be actually interested in what the other person is saying. Trust me, the proper responses will follow naturally if you truly listen to their words.

Try to put yourself in their shoes

The world is abstract. Everyone sees and interprets it differently, and all of them are correct. There is no single right or wrong way of viewing things. The best way to understand somebody is by trying to see from their perspective instead of yours. Even if two individuals are disagreeing over something, it isn’t necessary that one person is right and the other is wrong. They could simply be seeing two sides of the same coin.

Trying to see things from someone else’s perspective can make all the difference in how you understand them and make them feel understood.

Do not judge

The last thing anyone sharing their heart out with you wants is to feel judged for what they are expressing. Yes, you might not agree with what they are saying; you might even be completely baffled by their view. But rushing into a judgment will only render them unable to open up to you and make them feel unwelcome.

So, respect their right to have a different opinion and hold yourself back from passing judgment because it is the last thing you yourself would want when you share your thoughts.

In a world full of noises, be the listener.