Maya, a 36-year-old single mother from Babarmahal, Kathmandu never imagined that a polite rejection on Facebook two months ago would spiral into a living nightmare.

Maya (her real name has been changed to protect her identity) became the target of an online stalker after she rejected a man’s advances. What started as a few friendly messages on social media quickly took a dark turn when the man demanded nude photos of her, which she refused to send.

Unfazed, he started sending her unsolicited explicit images of himself. He then began tracking her online activity, leaving threatening messages, and eventually, he found her home address. “I would receive messages saying he was watching me, that he knew where my son went to school,” Maya told the Post.

Despite blocking him multiple times, the stalker always found a way to reappear, using different accounts to harass her. Fearing for her nine-year-old son’s safety, she finally mustered the courage to file a complaint with the Cyber Bureau of Nepal Police 15 days ago.

Since informing the stalker that she had taken legal action, he has not contacted her again, but the experience has left her feeling paranoid and anxious. She now fears leaving her home and hesitates to go online. “I just want to feel safe again, but I’m not sure if that’s possible anymore,” Maya says.

Maya’s ordeal speaks volumes about how violence against women is no longer confined to physical spaces but has increasingly infiltrated the digital world in the form of online abuse, from revenge porn and bullying to sexual harassment, trolling, fraud, and blackmail.

The severity of this issue becomes even clearer with data from the Cyber Bureau. In just under two months of the fiscal year 2024-25, the bureau has already recorded 882 cases of cybercrimes involving women.

Looking back at previous years, the figures paint a troubling picture. In the fiscal year 2022-23, there were 9,013 reported cybercrime cases, with 4,590 filed by women. The period also saw 130 cases involving minor girls.

The following year, 2023-24, witnessed a dramatic rise in the number of cases involving women to 8,745 and those involving minors to 382. This represents an increase of approximately 90.52 percent in cyber violence cases reported by women from 2022-23 to 2023-24.

As the country entered a new fiscal year, the trend of online violence continues, with the bureau already reporting 35 cases involving minor girls and 882 cases involving adult women.

However, these numbers alone do not capture the full extent of women’s and girls’ vulnerability in the digital space. Traditional beliefs, discrimination, and the normalisation of such behaviour, along with the fear that exposing abuse will shame them and their families, often lead to many cases going unreported.

Rita, a 27-year-old woman, from Sunsari whom the Post is identifying with a pseudonym, is one such victim.

She never imagined that a relationship she once cherished would end up destroying her life. After a difficult breakup, her ex-partner with whom she had a live-in relationship, sought revenge by sharing intimate videos and photos of her online with her family, friends, and relatives in 2022.

For the next six months, her ex continued to sexually harass her through social media. The abuse only ceased after she attempted suicide, which resulted in a three-week hospitalisation.

“Even after all this happened, my family refused to help me file a complaint. My relatives even mocked me, saying that I had already done intimate things during the live-in relationship. They said he wasn’t physically hurting or abusing me, so I should just get over it”, says Rita.

According to a UN report based on studies in 10 countries, an estimated 95 percent of aggressive behaviour, harassment, abusive language, and degrading images online are directed at women, and they often come from partners or ex-partners.

A year has passed for Rita, but the emotional scars remain, and she continues to struggle with depression.

Many in Nepal, like Rita’s relatives, downplay the impact of online harassment, dismissing it as “just virtual, not physical.”

However, a UN report titled ‘Combating Online Violence Against Women & Girls: A Worldwide Wake-Up Call,’ published by the UN Broadband Commission in 2015, tells a different story. It argues that ‘cyber touch’ can be as damaging as physical touch, suggesting that online abuse can be as bad as domestic violence or sexual assault.

Now, as women across Nepal are celebrating Teej, many find themselves facing online violence. They are subjected to a barrage of hate speech simply for enjoying themselves.

In recent years, the sight of women dancing, singing, drinking, and celebrating during Teej has sparked outrage among certain segments of society, particularly men who see these activities as a challenge to traditional gender roles. Social media trolls have seized on the opportunity to attack and criticise what they consider ‘inappropriate behaviour, clothing, and dance.’

“Every year, it’s the same story,” says Ankita Chapagain, a 40-year-old from Kathmandu. “As soon as videos of women enjoying Teej and dancing go online, the hate comments start pouring in. We’re called names, our morals are questioned, and we’re blamed for the supposed degradation of society.”

This animosity extends beyond anonymous trolls; it mirrors a deeper social unease with women’s independence and the pervasive misogyny and patriarchy in our culture. “It’s as if they can’t stand to see women happy and celebrating on their own terms,” Chapagain adds.

The problem intensifies during elections, with female politicians facing significant online abuse. An analysis conducted by Panos South Asia reveals that insults and hate speech are the most common attacks on female politicians.

A joint statement by the United Nations Special Rapporteurs on Violence against Women and Freedom of Expression says online violence against women can “chill and disrupt the online participation of women journalists, activists, human rights defenders, artists, and other public figures and private individuals” —which underscores the severe impact of growing cyber violence.

So, how well-prepared are the institutions responsible for addressing this issue, like the Cyber Bureau? The answer seems to be, not very well.

Superintendent of Police Deepak Raj Awasthi, spokesperson, and information officer of the Cyber Bureau, told the Post last month that the bureau is struggling with both understaffing and underfunding.

The gap between the rise in cybercrimes and the lack of resources leaves the virtual realm a dangerous space, especially for girls and women who are already vulnerable due to unsafe physical environments, pervasive misogyny, and systemic discrimination.