Wednesday was special. It was late in the evening when I read the news reports of a couple from the far-western district of Kanchanpur, wandering in Kathmandu in search of justice for their 13-year-old daughter who had been raped and murdered nearly two months ago.

Wednesday was one of the greatest days for a large majority of Nepali women, when they celebrated Teej as an occasion for merriment, venting their sense of frustration and oppression in a deeply patriarchal society through songs and dances.

All Nirmala Pant’s mother probably had in mind as she spoke to media in the Capital was anguish at the state that had failed to nail the rapist(s) and killer(s) of her daughter who had only spread her wings to take flight.

More agonising, even beyond the tormented family and the community that protested for weeks demanding action against the perpetrators, is the general perception that the authorities charged with protecting civilians made a series of attempts to protect criminals by destroying vital evidence.

In Nirmala’s case, there are reports of the police administration not coming to the family’s rescue when they reported their daughter missing. Public anger swelled when relatives and local people realised that police had not interrogated the two sisters from whose home Nirmala had gone missing, that the family had been forced to cremate the body without substantive leads in the case, that the police tried to frame innocents in their perceived attempts to protect suspected individuals with connections to powerful officials.

Growing incidents of rape have both alarmed and enraged people. Members of the public and civil society have started coming forth to vent their ‘rage against rape’. There is a sense of frustration among citizens that the government has failed to demonstrate that it stands by the people in times of trouble and to secure them from possible harm.

On Saturday, an event has been scheduled at Maitighar to express solidarity with Nirmala’s parents and seek justice. As law enforcement authorities have acted ruthlessly, killing some and injuring many Kanchanpur locals who clamoured for justice for the teenage victim, it is such public gatherings that will pressure the government to respond to citizens’ concerns.

At the eye of the storm is the Nepal Police, particularly for the way it handles crime. Last month, not only did police fail to rescue a kidnapped 11-year-old boy alive, it killed two suspected kidnappers in an ‘encounter’. People argued that the police had destroyed all evidence related to the crime with the killings.

Public officials are generally thought to be guided by the mentality shared by a large section of society. Could it be true that the police, predominantly a male force, fail to honour the feelings that female members of society have about violence against women? Does this attitude reflect common societal tendencies towards females?

If we are to interpret this phenomenon as the common Nepali man’s refusal to see women as their equals, we must look for remedy in our society itself. Our deeply entrenched beliefs and practices that treat women as inferior to men must be renounced.

It’s indisputable that women can’t win this fight against gender-based violence without the firm support of their male companions—brothers, seniors and friends. And boys can’t view themselves as immune to ‘women’s problems’ as a society rife with discrimination and inequality holds individuals back from realising their true potential.

Some incidents in the past, such as the rape and robbery of Sita Rai, have shown that a sustained movement for a cause grabs media attention and fuels debate in society, ultimately heightening public awareness. It took time for the incident in far-off Kanchanpur to stir protests in Kathmandu.

The government can’t shy away from protecting its citizens. While emblematic cases gain attention sooner or later, girls and women suffer for life from assaults that are short of attracting public and media gaze. Deeper down, women continue to fall victim at their own homes to their close relatives. A society cannot progress and prosper without guaranteeing women their safety. How late in the evening are you comfortable for your daughter, sister or mother to stay out till? At what time do you start worrying about them?

Gradually, women are becoming more vocal about their rights and freedom. Men are also lending their support in increasing numbers to women’s quest for leading independent lives. Statutory provisions are getting more women-friendly. Women were elected in great numbers to public office from the polls last year. But misogyny has been so deeply ingrained that its traces may be visible in almost everything we males, often females, do. Let me apologise if such traits have crept into these lines too.

Many tend to blame women for their ordeal. It’s foolish to point fingers at the way women dress and carry themselves, rather than asking males to behave. Can we men vow to change everything other than women’s personal choices to create safe grounds for them to flourish?

Male leaders of society and officials must stop patronising women. Instead, they should be equipped and empowered to make their own choices and take their own decisions. Legal hurdles on women’s path of progress need to be removed without further delay.

Most crucially, of course, women’s body must belong to themselves.

The writer tweets @GuragainMohan