Our top national comedian Mr Krazy Pompous Oli will soon leave Baluwatar and move back home to Balkot. In some countries, politicians leave in taxis or their private vehicle once they are no longer in office but here in this land of ours, the government provides them vehicles for life, along with a few dozen security personnel, chiya kharcha and more.

Why do our politicians need 30 to 40 security personnel to guard their homes? I hope our clowns have built a futsal ground in their backyard. Our security personnel do need some exercise once in a while rather than dozing off or using their mobile phones to update their Facebook statuses while on duty.

So what has Oli done for the country in the past nine months as our Prime Monster? Nothing!  And what has the state given Oli in the past nine months? Everything! He will now get better vehicles, dozens of security personnel to guard his residence and provide security for him wherever he goes. He will continue to get millions of rupees for medical treatment here and abroad. It seems that our politicians only want to be our Prime Monster so that they can get life-time perks that comes with having slept at Baluwatar, be it for a few months or a few years.

It’s good to be a politician in a land where the people are submissive and have the courage to continue to adapt to all the hardship brought on by the lack of leadership of our politicians. It’s good to be a politician in a land where you can continue to steal billions of rupees meant for the people and get away with it. Our politicians do have thick skin and a strong spine. The media does try hard to publish stories of corruption and abuse of authority but it seems that it does not really affect any of our politicians and civil servants. They are not ashamed of their misdeeds and they do not have to abide by the law even when the Supreme Court tells them to do so.

I think we should have a law that bars state perks to our politicians who spent less than a year in office. We could save billions of rupees by not having to provide luxury vehicles, security personnel and other chiya kharcha to our chors who had been in office for less than a year but seem to enjoy all the perks till they drop dead.

And it seems that our politicians are only good at math when it comes to figuring out how many heads they need to topple the government and form a new one. How come they do not do the math when it comes to our trade deficit with India? We seem to export less than a billion dollars worth of goods whereas we import six times more. Maybe, if we had not increased the salaries of our civil servants, our food prices would not have jumped by more than 20 percent in a month.

There will come a day when our bank notes are deemed worthless and we will be using it to pack peanuts and chat-patey.

It seems that we, the people, should learn from our politicians. Look at our Emperor and the Pajero King. Once enemies, they are now in love with each other. So, we must also learn to forgive our neighbours. Don’t carry a grudge just because the other person failed to invite you for his daughter’s wedding. Once, Deuba put a price on Prachanda’s head and our Emperor wanted to put a hit on the King. But today, things have changed. Today, there are lovers and they will enjoy the fruit of their labour of toppling Oli’s circus show by sharing the top kurchi.

I think it’s a good thing that both Prachanda and Deuba will be our Prime Monsters in their ‘sharing is caring’ natak. Both have been our Prime Monsters and we can save at least a few rupees because we don’t have to give a whole load of state perks to a new jerk.

Our Emperor could not do much in the nine months he lived in Baluwatar. He left office like a juvenile delinquent just because he could not fire the then Army Chief. Our King has been Prime Monster again and again and if it weren’t for him, many of our former lawmakers would have to take a micro instead of still driving around in tax-free luxury vehicles.

The musical chair of power sharing will continue and we can’t do a thing about it. We will probably have a new CEO heading the National Reconstruction Authority. Our brothers and sisters who were displaced by the earthquake and who lost their loved ones will continue to be denied compensation because of our lazy inefficient bums. But life goes on. We, the people, have always suffered and will continue to suffer miserably. Our politicians will continue to not give a hoot to all of the problems faced by the common folks, but will continue to enjoy the loot and will have no qualms to give orders to shoot at protesters demanding reform of the corrupt system.