A friendship unrequited

I read somewhere that a non-reciprocated relationship can cause you great danger. A friendship unrequited

Rishikesh Upadhyaya

Published at : November 28, 2018

Updated at : November 28, 2018 09:13

I read somewhere that a non-reciprocated relationship can cause you great danger. It can even have physical repercussions, I read. But I am certain that won’t happen in my case, since I am not sure whether it’s reciprocated or not. I am really talking about a friendship. Maybe because she has got many friends already, I don’t seem to be a priority for her. Or maybe because she’s a girl and I’m a boy—friendship may not find a clear way out.

I remember, it was the second or third day of our SLC examination. We used to be picked up by a bus on our school premises itself. The seat next to me was vacant, but she refused to sit next to me. I wasn’t surprised, we weren’t close friends. We’re in different colleges now and we have a different kind of friendship. We rarely see each other. We hardly talk face-to-face. It is rare that we exchange wishes on special occasions, or phone calls, invitations, meetings. We have our own private lives. Our relationship is limited to words ie, texting. The messenger app plays an intermediate role in sustaining our friendship.

I call her my best friend, but I don’t know if she does. I do not recall her introducing me to others as her best friend. People define a best friend as the one who always hangs out with you, with whom you have the best childhood memories, whom you rarely miss, who knows everything about you, your interests, your behaviour, who shares the same interests. According to this definition, we are not best friends.

I have seen her arrogance, rudeness, anger, laziness, smile, kindness, confidence, politeness, leadership and many other qualities. She is a little stubborn, humorous, foxy, ditzy, sassy, and egocentric. She’s a combination of all characters. She is solid as a rock, stubborn as a stone. She is soft as snow, generous as a tree, trustworthy as a breath. She is a ripple on a stream.

She is beautiful. She has a round face with a fair complexion, pencil-thin eyebrows, dark beetle-leg eyelashes, a wide forehead, apple-like cheeks, an elegant nose, hair like moon-shadow. When she breaks into a smile, her beguiling, oyster-white teeth lit up the room. She does not seem any less than Cleopatra. She speaks clearly. Her simple gaze would make anyone fall for her. Her politeness would startle Hitler. I have heard she dances well, though I have never seen it. She’s perfect.

She likes to be treated like a princess. She likes to be pampered. She wants someone special to take care of her. She wants others to be polite with her. She likes to have people connect with her, but she does not care what others say about her. She does not feel guilty for anything. Whatever she does, she considers it right. She’s a little fussy. She wants to have a wardrobe full of clothes. She likes to have a strong online presence. She has a habit of ignoring people’s feelings, sometimes people too. She is as lazy as a lizard that dreams of a better shelter during monsoon but when summer arrives, does nothing other than sunbathe. There’s no cure for her laziness. She wants to have a pencil-skirt job in the near future, with a six-figure salary, a big mansion in Canada, and a luxurious lifestyle. She wants to establish a fund in her name. But I doubt her laziness will allow her all of this. When you message her, do not expect a quick reply. It takes her a minimum of two minutes to even reply to a single-phrase text.

She trusts me and that’s enough. I want her to stay as she is now—childish. I do not want her to grow up. I want her to play with the sun, dance with the moon, sing with the blackbirds, laugh out loud and be funny. May our friendship last forever. May we never be apart. May we never grow up. May we always play like kids. May we laugh hysterically looking at each other.

Upadhyaya is a +2 student at St Xavier’s College, Maitighar