Paromita Vohra, founder and creative director of Agents of Ishq (an Indian website about sexuality, love and desire), is a versatile filmmaker and writer. Her work explores themes such as gender, feminism, urban life, love, desire, and popular culture. She visited Kathmandu as one of the keynote speakers for Nepal’s first Pink Tourism International Conference, held in April.

In an interview with the Post’s Aarati Ray, Vohra shares her love for reading, themes of sex and desire in her works, the changing dynamics of feminism and Pink Tourism in Nepal.

How connected were you with reading growing up?

I was an avid reader, and read everything I could get my hands on, from poetry to novels to magazines, comics and non-fiction. We were taught to disparage romance and fantasy novels. But during my teenage years, I consumed countless Harlequin, Mills, and Boon romances and continued to do so into my 30s. To me, romance always felt like the invitation to a poetic life, away from a pre-defined reality.

What's your take on the stigma surrounding fantasy romance novels being unserious and unintellectual?

As I grew up, people often wondered why I enjoyed romance novels. However, I don't see a contradiction between intellect and fantasy. Fantasy allows us to express emotions and envision new realities, which is crucial for change and happiness. Without imagining a different reality, we can't change things and will remain forever unhappy.

Moreover, anything considered feminine, like romance novels, emotions, or flowers, is often dismissed as ‘unserious’ in our culture. In contrast, men's interests, like Star Wars, are frequently praised. This highlights the need to celebrate feminine aesthetics more in our culture.

What inspired Agents of Ishq?

Around 2014, the widespread use of the internet and the emergence of dating apps, made it easier for people, including those who identify as queer, to connect. However, there was still a lack of comprehensive sex education and open, honest, and comfortable discussions about sex, sexual life, dating, and consent.

Similarly, much of the available information about these was Americanised and didn't cater to the nuances of Indian culture, language, and relationships.

Talking about sex and sexuality from the perspectives of women and queer people offers a unique discussion. Noticing a gap in India’s discourse on sexuality, I recognised the internet's potential to address it and launched Agents of Ishq.

Amidst the discourse around fake and real feminism, what does feminism mean to you, particularly considering the plurality showcased in your documentaries like ‘Unlimited Girls’?

For me, feminism is more than just fighting for equal rights—it's about recognising and challenging the many hidden forms of power and hierarchies in our world. It's about striving for equality with compassion and fairness, rather than seeking dominance over others. Feminism, to me, means looking at the world with a loving eye, valuing things that may be overlooked by others, and creating change through art and conversation.

Feminism is also a constantly evolving idea, open to interpretation and discussion. Kavita Krishnan (a feminist and activist) once told me, “I like to read your essays because I don't always agree with them, but it's a productive disagreement.” I found this phrase very meaningful— even when we disagree, we can still engage in meaningful conversations that strengthen our ideas and understanding.

Even in my documentary, ‘Unlimited Girls’, the characters Fearless and Chamki Girl represent the complexity and plurality of feminism—they don't fit neatly into binary categories of feminist or non-feminist. This reflects the reality that feminism can vary across cultures and individuals.

Rather than being judgmental or divisive, I believe in having conversations, reading, researching, and embracing diverse feminist perspectives.

What kind of representation and discourse did you find about women and feminism in movies and literature growing up?

In the past, newspapers covered a broader range of women's struggles, while today the focus is often on sexual violence, neglecting economic and other rights.

The idea of intersectionality wasn't common when I was growing up, but now it is. Different aspects of feminist ideas were emphasised at different times, and conversations about these ideas weren't as prevalent during my upbringing.

Because these discussions were rare, seeking out feminist content was a cherished pursuit, symbolising appreciation and value for those ideas. Watching a film, reading a book, or reading poetry related to feminism sparked a unique excitement and curiosity.

Do you believe that turning pride into a commercial venture through Pink Tourism can lessen the importance of queer rights?

Many argue that commodifying pride stifles deeper discussions about sexuality. However, it's important to recognise that pride isn't the only platform for discussing queerness. We need diverse spaces for these conversations, ensuring a varied approach to addressing queer experiences.

For cultures like India and Nepal, especially India with its deep-rooted caste and cultural stratification, it's crucial to prioritise inclusivity in queer activism and representation. This inclusivity should encompass various caste and class backgrounds, ensuring that queer culture remains open to everyone. The essence of queerness is its diversity, not confinement to a single definition.

How do you approach making documentaries, do you draw inspiration from books or research-based articles?

When it comes to creating documentaries, inspiration can come from various sources. Sometimes, it's a commissioned project, while other times, it's based on personal experiences or observations. For example, I made a film about the lack of public toilets for women in cities after experiencing the issue firsthand.

Regardless of the initial inspiration, my preferred approach is to first understand how the issue manifests in real life. Then, I delve into reading books and researching articles to deepen my understanding and form the documentary.

Why do you think movies like ‘Animal’ focused on hypermasculinity are on the rise? Is it because there are fewer women in movie-making?

The existence of films like ‘Animal’ isn't solely because there aren't enough women in filmmaking. Women are in films and will hopefully create many films about diverse experiences, but that doesn't mean men won't make movies like ‘Animal’.

We have to remember that patriarchy and aggressive masculinity have not just harmed women, but men as well. As the centrality of the traditional privileged male is changing, men are in a lot of anxiety which is expressed through these kinds of films.

Aside from the social lens, if we look at the situation through a compassionate lens, we see that because men are not able to become vulnerable, they are more lonely, their mental health is bad, the suicide rates among men are quite high in young men, the pressure to succeed is a lot, and the economy is not giving space to succeed.

This combination of social and economic realities is fueling aggressive masculine culture and films like ‘Animals’ are not just being made but are also a huge hit.

There's a spectrum of films about masculinity, like ‘Pathan’, ‘Animal’, and ‘Badhai Do’, which are different in their ways. If we look at it as a spectrum, not just as an individual thing in itself, we will understand that amidst the pressure and need to change, some are resisting the change, and others are relating to and living the change. In their ways, all of these films interact with the reality of contemporary times.

Are there any plans for ‘Agents of Ishq’ to expand its presence into other parts of South Asia, particularly in Nepal?

I think Agents of Ishq is successful because it is so culturally rooted. What's important is that things like the Agents of Ishq should be made by people in Nepal, which should be homegrown and in line with the culture and contemporary movement of this society.

Despite the diversity of South Asian cultures, there are common threads related to family life, emotions, and music. One such concept is Apnapan (belonging) which lacks an English equivalent. It embodies the idea of making someone who isn't connected by blood or law feel like one's own, sharing a sense of belonging. So, we would love to collaborate and work together in parts of South Asia using these common points of culture.