Anger, often deemed the forbidden emotion in our society, is frequently labelled as ‘bad’. It is seen as the ‘black sheep’ of emotions, and forced to be buried deep within by the walls built inside us by society. It is often unwelcome: a trespasser in the garden of civility. But does masking it with an ingenuine but polite smile truly resolve its cause? Or does it merely complicate matters, allowing it to fester until it explodes later? Also, is it as bad as portrayed?

Anger, like all emotions, has its purpose. Evolutionarily, it helps us survive and react to perceived threats. It is linked to our sympathetic nervous system’s “fight, flight or freeze” response.

Of course, frequent, unprovoked, or out-of-proportion anger is not helpful, but as with all other emotions, its healthy expression is important for emotional health. Not finding a healthy vent and keeping it confined is definitely not advisable. In fact, cooping up such a force is similar to trying to confine a flooding river by building dams—dangerous, volatile and likely to burst forth eventually.

That being said, I’m not advocating for violence. Instead, it’s important to be self-aware of anger and prevent it from escalating into aggressive or harmful behaviour towards oneself or others.

For those struggling to control their anger, practicing anger management techniques can be helpful. This involves recognising triggers, understanding the root cause of the emotion, and learning skills to manage it effectively.

However, when anger is suppressed or expressed in destructive ways, it can have negative consequences for individuals and society as a whole. Chronically suppressing anger can lead to physical and psychological issues such as high blood pressure, depression, and anxiety. Conversely, uncontrolled rage can result in violence, damaged relationships, and legal problems.

Therefore, it is essential to find constructive ways to manage and express anger for overall well-being. Here are some strategies for healthier anger expression:

• Identify triggers:

Notice the situations, people, or events that tend to trigger your anger. Recognising these triggers helps you anticipate and prepare for them, reducing the chance of explosive reactions, all the while helping you recognise the actual underlying factors responsible for them.

• Practice mindfulness:

Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation, can help you stay present and calm in the face of anger triggers. These practices enable you to observe your emotions without immediately reacting to them, giving you greater control over your responses.

• Communicate effectively:

Instead of lashing out or bottling up your anger, communicate assertively and respectfully. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs without blaming or attacking others. Effective communication fosters understanding and resolution, minimizing conflicts and misunderstandings.

• Prioritise sleep:

As we all may have experienced, we are a bit easily provoked on days when we are sleep-deprived. It is in those days that we struggle to keep our impulses under control and become especially short-tempered. Having a consistent sleep routine can be a valuable asset for better emotional reactions towards anger-provoking situations.

• Remove self-judgment:

If you have a valid reason to be angry at someone or something, it might not be healthy to criticise yourself for feeling that way. Self-judgment can be counterproductive. It’s important to understand that feeling angry is natural at times, as long as you’re finding a constructive outlet and not causing harm to yourself or others. Additionally, it’s crucial to recognise that anger itself isn’t inherently negative; it’s how we express it that can be harmful. Anger can motivate us to address injustices or assert boundaries, signalling that something in our lives requires attention or adjustment.

• Take a time-out:

If you feel overwhelmed by anger, step away from the situation temporarily. Take a walk, practice deep breathing or engage in a calming activity until you feel more composed. Time-outs allow you to cool down and gain perspective before addressing the issue constructively.

• Seek support:

Don’t hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family, or mental health professionals when dealing with persistent anger issues. Talking to someone you trust can provide validation, perspective, and practical advice for managing your emotions effectively.

Despite society’s inclination to discourage anger, it remains a crucial aspect of our emotional landscape, serving a pivotal purpose in our overall well-being. When handled adeptly, anger has the potential to foster personal growth, bolster assertiveness and catalyse constructive transformations.

Do not rage, but do not cage it either.