When we meet new people or encounter new situations, we often form quick opinions based on our initial observations. Think about the first time you met your closest friends. Did you expect them to become such close companions? Or consider your first day at work or school—what were your initial thoughts about the place? We tend to create preconceived notions about individuals and places based on these first impressions. These assumptions shape how we interact with people and approach new experiences.

Creating a positive first impression is something we all strive for, whether consciously or unconsciously. We believe that a positive start can pave the way for better future interactions. After all, it’s much easier to trust and connect with someone we have a positive impression of, isn’t it? We prefer engaging with people we like and find it challenging to interact with those we don’t have a good impression of. As a result, our initial judgements often leave a lasting impact, making it difficult to change our perception later on.

This tendency to judge others without truly knowing them creates problems in various aspects of our lives, such as choosing jobs or forming close relationships. Breaking free from these snap judgments is a challenge we consistently face, yet it’s essential to foster genuine connections and make well-informed decisions.

We’ve all heard the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” However, the reality is that we often form judgments based on appearances before considering anything else. This tendency is influenced by a mix of evolutionary, cultural, and psychological factors. It leads to cognitive biases like the ‘halo effect’ or ‘horn effect’, where we focus on one positive or negative trait and make judgments based on it. These biases affect our daily lives significantly.

Over time, these biases can change. We realise that first impressions might not be as reliable as we once believed. Someone we thought was warm and reliable might turn out to be cold and untrustworthy, while someone we initially found unapproachable could be incredibly warm, trustworthy, and kind once we get to know them better. This phenomenon is common in our interactions. People we trust, such as friends, colleagues or family, may disappoint us when we need them the most, and unexpectedly, help might come from those we least expected. That’s why it’s crucial to be aware of the first impressions and stereotypes we create. These preconceived notions can subtly influence our lives, such as assuming that someone who wears glasses is automatically smart or unquestioningly believing the words of a beautiful spokesperson. Being mindful of these biases helps us make more informed judgments and fosters better understanding between people.

Accepting changes is a crucial part of life. We must acknowledge that people might not always behave as we expect them to. Hoping for others to act in a certain way is natural, but it’s essential to recognise that this ideal expectation isn’t always practical. We need to refrain from judging people solely based on their appearance or initial actions. This shift in thinking is vital for our personal development.

It is challenging to avoid forming first impressions, but for our own growth, it’s necessary to delay judgment and rely on multiple interactions to truly understand someone. Many of us tend to judge others based on these initial impressions, leading to misguided decisions about how to approach the person. This holds true for those who, after an unimpressive first meeting, have later become close friends with someone they initially underestimated. Taking the time to get to know people beyond these initial judgments is key to genuine understanding and meaningful connections.

First impressions aren’t wrong, they are a necessary evil. They enable us to make swift decisions with limited information, especially in situations like job interviews or significant first meetings. However, it's misguided to assume that these initial interactions determine how someone will always behave.

People have the capacity to change, and rigidly holding onto the belief that first impressions are unalterable won't benefit us in the long run. It's more productive to acknowledge that individuals can surprise us. By giving them an opportunity to reveal their true selves over time, we open ourselves to genuine understanding and meaningful connections.

Tandukar is a mental health professional. He is the organisational psychologist and the project manager at The Revolution Project.