This is an open letter to you from two parents. It has been long since we have engaged in this blame game. You blame us for not being good parents and we blame you for not being good teachers. With this letter, we hope to initiate a conversation about what we expect from you as teachers of our children. Perhaps you will write back to us about what you expect from us as parents.

Grades are not all

As parents, we value the importance of academic excellence. But grades and medals are not very important. We hope that you, as teachers, understand that all children do not have the same academic level. We presume that you know that children have their own unique learning style. As teachers, the most important thing you can do is to encourage their curiosity and desire to learn. We expect that our children are not afraid to ask questions. We hope our children learn from you that there are different ways of answering the same question.

You understand, perhaps, that the intelligence of a child cannot be measured by grades alone. Grades are deceptive. Perhaps you already know that some of the greatest intellectual personalities were labeled as ‘bad students’. We hope each student in your class, regardless of their grades, receives the same amount of attention and love. We hope that each student in your class feels that ‘my teacher cares about me’.  If that is so, we are assured that our children are in good hands.

Neither good nor bad

We hope you believe that no child is inherently ‘good’ or ’bad’. If you feel otherwise, we kindly request you to resign as you are unfit to be a teacher. Forgive us for saying that but it must be said. A real teacher sees potential in every child they teach. They encourage children to develop what is missing but do not insist on changes at the cost of their individual personality.

Teachers often label children as ‘good’ based on obedience, silence and reluctance to ask questions. If you are using these categories of ‘goodness’ within your classrooms, we fear for the destruction of our children’s innate creativity. This historically evolved narrow definition of ‘goodness’ is one of the reason we have so few real leaders in our country.

Children are restless by nature, let them remain so. Do not kill their creative nature by forcing narrow categories on them. Children should be allowed to speak up in the classroom. They should be able to say what they think. Let them be ‘bad’ once in a while.

Being human

As parents, we are saddened by the commodification of education. We are skeptical of big billboards from schools promising quality education but only boasting about the number of students who’ve secured distinction in their exams. These advertisements never talk about their students who are making a difference as good human beings. You could answer, ‘That is the job of the parent. As a teacher, I will stick to the curriculum’. True, as parents, we are the first teachers. Our values and behaviour reflect on our child. But you can see, as teachers, our children respect you most, more than us. Our children look up to you as model personalities because you are their teacher.

We hope that in your class, children learn the value of love. It is not something that can be taught. When you really love the children you teach, they will learn this naturally from you. We hope they learn the value of meaningful relationships. We hope that you teach children the value of empathy, not just sympathy. We hope that you help them see that success and failure are a part of life.  Perhaps, you are doing something to make our children understand that what matters most is the kind of person you are, rather than the material you possess. We hope that along with us, you will help our children understand the value of inner beauty over physical appearance. We hope that our children learn to respect their seniors and love their juniors. We hope that our children learn to love their country and be proud of it. We hope that you are preparing our children to be part of the solution rather than someone always talking about problems.

A final question

Finally, we would like to ask you a simple question. Are you certain you want to be a teacher? Are you certain you did not take up this job as a ’last option’? We hope that you became teachers because that is what you love to do. We would like to believe that this is not just a job for you. We hope that you have a passion to enable children to be someone. We do not trust hi-tech teaching methodologies and expensive field trips. A chalk and blackboard alone can make for great teachers. Creative energy and passion are what makes teachers great, not the expensive gadgets they use.  

We hope you have taken our letter positively. The next time you call us for a meeting, please do not just talk about the grades of our children. Perhaps you could tell us more about how our children are as people. We wish to hear from you about any new ideas that our children have shared in class. We hope to see some of our children’s creations on the classroom wall. We hope you will tell us what our children enjoy learning and how. So, perhaps, the next time we meet, you could talk more on the possibilities you see in our children rather than the limitations.

The Khanals are parents of two children