Well, the election results are out and the Nepali Kangaroos have been asked to move to the left by the ‘left alliance’. Who would have thought that our Kangaroos would fail so miserably? Where did Maharaja Deuba and his courtiers go wrong? 

Our Emperor Prachanda has once again shown us that he still has tricks left in his bag. Our Meowists happened to fare a little better with the support of the United Mundrey Leaders. They would have won only a dozen seats if they had not started their affair with the other comrades. And we have to thank the Meowists for showing us all that they are very flexible when it comes to forging and breaking up alliances.

And our national comedian Oli knew very well that if he hadn’t brought the Meowists on board then the Kangaroos would have and the result might not have been as expected. Anyways, let us congratulate Oli and Prachanda for their ‘Lefty’ win. And we should not worry like the Kangaroos about the ‘Communification’ of Nepal because no matter what, not much will change in this land.

Our civil servants will continue to be lazy and not perform while running to politicians for lucrative postings and promotions. Our contractors and con artists will tie up with sons and daughters of our politicians to bag government contracts worth billions and then carry out shoddy work and pocket the money and nobody will be held accountable. Our politicians will continue to work for their cousins and cadres instead of the common folks.

Yes, let’s feel bad for our chor netas as well. After all, they need to make their cadres happy or else they might not win next time. Loyal cadres will now flock to the residences of our chor netas in the valley and will request, beg, and even threaten them for jobs, state funds and what not.

Our netas will spend most of their time trying to figure out how to dole out funds and provide government jobs to their cadres. They will not have enough time to think about their constituency and yet we think that they will do something good for the country.  Politicians in other lands resign and quit politics or step aside and ask someone to lead the party instead whenever they fail but in our land of ours, our politicians linger around till they drop dead.

Our Maharaja Deuba is no mood to resign at all. His astrologers do not see such moves on his charts. After all, he expects to be our Prime Monster a few more times in the future. Rabindra Mishra could have won from his constituency if he had managed to develop a bromance with the comrades. But of course, our Bibeksheel-Sajha folks don’t want to use any muscles or waste any money to buy votes or promise freebies to those who will help them win. That’s the difference between the ‘old’ chors and the ‘new’ turks.  But in politics, it seems that you must make deals with the chors as well if you want to bag a few seats and become a national party. 

Maybe, it would have been better if Mishra dai and his party had united with Naya Shakti and few others to at least be a national party for now.  Dr Saheb would certainly have won from Gorkha and both parties would at least get enough PR votes to send a few MPs to the federal parliament.

Our Madhesi parties have shown us that they have enough votes to be our national parties even if they only win from the plains. And it’s about time they too took sides either with the Kangaroos or the UMLs or maybe join hands with the ‘other’ new ones and become the third party in this land. Yes, be a party for the minorities in this land because the ‘old’ parties are not eager to give minorities a chance.

Our comrades now have the opportunity to lead this country to prosperity if they manage to stick together and do what’s right for the country instead of only looting the state funds to provide for their cousins and cadres. Let’s see if Oli and Prachanda will stick to their words and finally unite as one big ‘Commie’ party of Nepal.

It seems that the so-called top leaders do really get along as long as they can make the moolah but our cadres are a different lot.  It would be really hard for the cadres to get along because if our commies do unite then most of our cadres will spend their time fighting with each other when it comes to heading their parties in their wards and provinces. After all, most of our cadres are in it for the money as well.

Let us wish our comrades all the best. Let us hope that they will at least have a roadmap for a better Nepal which focuses on attracting foreign investment from our chimekis, providing millions of jobs to our young folks by attracting tens of millions of middle-class Chinese and Indian tourists. We cannot compete with our chimekis when it comes to manufacturing stuff. But we can make billions of dollars by focusing on tourism alone. But who’s listening?

Will Oli stand up from the crowd and be our Prime Minister and lead us to prosperity or will he be just another Prime Monster who came, sat on the kursi and left with doing nothing for the common folks and the country. Let us hope he will listen to the ‘common’ people and not only his cadres and con artists.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at [email protected]