Fool us always!Dear Nepal Government, please stop promising us stuff that you cannot or know very well that you will not fulfill
The Narcotics Control Bureau (NCB) should carry out drug tests on our corrupt clowns and incompetent civil servants. Yes, these buffoons must either be smoking something out of this world or are either taking pills imported straight from some medical labs in Amrika. Or if our Nepal Police want to try their polygraph thing to make sure it really works then why not test it on our buffoons? Maybe, we should have a compulsory polygraph tests for those who receive government funds in salaries or contracts or for free. Yes, you get free cash for your medical treatment or other kharcha if you happen to be the dear and near ones of our netas!
How in the world do you come up with such screwed-up policies and hawadari programmes year in year out and expect us to believe that we will all finally prosper and be able to live a decent life? No one in his or her right mind can stand up and promise things we know that will never come true in this land of ours.
We are more likely to send one of our stray dogs to Mars by 2026 than generate 10,000 MW of electricity within a decade. Yes, it is possible to send ‘Kalu’ to the ‘Red Planet’ if we can somehow convince our folks who currently work for NASA to come back and help us build some kind of a capsule or a rocket that can transport a dog up there. But we cannot expect to generate 10,000 MW of electricity with this current bunch of corrupt political parties and inefficient bureaucracy.
Every kid in this country knows that we have the capacity to generate 40,000 MW of electricity. It’s been nearly eight years since we became a Republic and if we had believed our Emperor then, we would have at least 20,000 MW of electricity by now. But of course, our Emperor is an emotional chap. One day, he will laugh at you, the next day he will cry for you and then next week, he will backstab you and then next month, he will hug you tight and kiss you. This guy seriously needs to visit a psychiatrist. Or someone just get him some Prozac to calm him down. We never know what he will do next. He might just lease the whole country to our chimekis and collect rent and be happy.
Our dream of generating thousands of MW of electricity is just becoming a big nightmare. We know we can do it but the reason we have not been able to do it is because of our bribe seeking civil servants, slimy contractors, local netas and their mundreys. And some of that dough somehow goes back to our netas. Yes, get free vehicles, salaries and perks and then loot the state treasury as well as get free money from contractors, civil servants and any con artists who wants to make easy money on the side while this country goes down the drain.
And the most ironic thing of all is that this land which is so rich in water resources has to depend instead on our Desi bhais to import electricity from across the border. Maybe, our incompetent government should come up with another target. How about promising us that we will import another 1,000 MW of electricity this winter from India and bring an end to load shedding in this land? Now that is possible, if our clowns can keep the Desis happy instead of trying to piss them off every other week!
It seems that our politicians are more like juvenile delinquents than leaders. They have big egos because they must be compensating for whatever is inadequate in them. They fight over petty issues and agree to disagree on everything, except on how to divide the loot from our state treasury.
You can’t just cancel our President’s trip to India just because you are mad that the Desis don’t dole out free gift hampers anymore. What do you expect? You have been kissing their behinds for so long that even the recipients must have sore bottoms by now.
You can’t just recall our Ambassador in Delhi just because he is a Kangaroo. But of course, our political parties have quotas on everything. Yes, divide the vacant positions amongst themselves from to the Supreme Court to Ambassadors to any government positions.
Send some byapari to represent our land for a few Karod Rupees as
our Ambassadors. Yes, fill up the Supreme Court with your Chamchas.
Dear Nepal Government, please stop promising us stuff that you cannot or know very well that you will not fulfill. We are surviving not because we have a billionaire in the Forbes List or because our NRNs are building hospitals and hotels and hydros. This country is still alive and kicking because of the millions of young folks who work overseas for a few more Dinars, Riyals and Ringgits.
Our netas are not going to change. It is us who need to change our attitude. Let us not allow these clowns to rule over us without accountability. It’s been ten years since the Maoists and the Morons got together and signed their hawadari agreement. Maybe, we need a new revolution, a mother of all revolutions to end all this natak once and for all!
(Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org)